Again (Lauren/You)

VI

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Lauren

*during the day pre concert*

'Crush' it sounds so childish, so immature, but I guess that fitted me when I was younger.

Y/N was completely oblivious to all my tiny hints, I don't blame her, my attempts were subtle but I always wished for her to notice anything. When we were 15, I tried so hard for her attention, but never to my avail. I mean she cared about me a lot, don't get me wrong, I felt like sometimes she'd care about me more than my own family.

But I wanted more, I didn't want to be just friends. We would have so many sleepovers, so many nights cuddling each other in bed. We would have beautiful real convocations about everything and nothing, we would have our hearts out on our sleeves some nights. But I always kept back one crucial part of my heart: my silly feelings for her. The closer we got as friends during our teenage years, the harder it was for me to suppress my feelings and desires. I thought, if my efforts were not being seen then she's not interested in me any more than just friends.

I knew Y/N was gay, I saw the way she was with girls, she was only interested in girls, but maybe not me, causing my insecurities to get the better of me.

But that one day when Y/N and I were messing around in the forest, I finally got what I had been waiting for. That's my most fondest memory of Y/N. We were so small, so innocent, neither of us had bad intentions. Hell! We didn't even know what we were doing, we just knew that this was right and we were so happy. It all fell into place... for only a short while.

I made my way back to the venue, after a few hours of site seeing, London was a pretty amazing city, I had visited the TATE modern too. Today has been pretty good. I quickly looked at my phone that I had turned off for a few hours, wanting to isolate myself for a while, I had so many text messages and missed calls from the girls and management... but mainly Ally. I frowned and looked at the time. Fuck. I have only 10 minutes until soundcheck, no wonder Ally is pissed!

Despite the traffic, the cab driver made a lot of time getting me at the venue in 7 minutes. I paid the driver and practically jumped out the car. Luckily the driver managed to drop me off close to the backstage entrances.

2 minutes! Come on, shitface!

I got to the door and the security guy jumped when he saw me.

"Um, Miss Jauregui? Everyone has been looking for you and trying to get in contact with you. I think you're in a lot of trouble." His deep voice said but I felt his pity.

"I know, I know, and i'm sorry, but sir soundcheck starts in like a minute!" I said feeling annoyed at myself, then beginning to feel really bad about the whole situation. He nodded quickly then opened the door, I ran in and looked around. Not knowing where to go, I just headed to the sound of loud chatting. Hopefully I can find someone.

Less than a minute, you idiot.

"What the actual fuck, Lauren!" I turned and saw Mani running towards me then engulfing me in a huge hug.

"I know, Mani! I'm a complete fucking idiot!" I said hugging her tightly.

"You don't know how much everyone was panicking! You didn't even text us you were going to be late! We all started assuming the worst." Her rage turned soft, she cared about me, about all of us so much.