Inexplicable

14. Aiden

I wake from another nightmare, but luckily I don't remember most of it. I do remember one thing, though. Her eyes. The warmth from the deep brown irises of her eyes managed to scare the monsters away. Every night since my escape, I suffer from faceless doctors tearing me open again and again until I finally wake up. I've had this knot inside my chest tied with anxiety and fear. Her presence seems to undo that knot.

I escaped from the doctors' prison, but not from their torture.

Sometime during the night, I had kicked the wool blanket off the bed and onto the cold floor. It's six in the morning, and after last night, I doubt anyone will be awake right now. I definitely am not going back to sleep, so might as well drown my frustration in a freezing shower. I knew from the beginning, getting ahold of those files, was way too easy. I should have said something. Yet another thing to add to my long list of regrets. I've tried so hard to make up for the things I've done and the two lives I've taken. I tried to save the people from that royally screwed plane, but I couldn't save all of them.
I sit up on the bed, my feet set on the wooden floor. A small dresser sits next to the bed with a lamp eager to burn the darkness away. I turn the lamp on, and something gleams in the gentle light. A ring. Sadie's ring. I look at it closer, now in my hand, the initials S. E. J. are carved into it. I put it in my pocket, thinking I'll give it to her later; she must be looking for it. I wonder if she even got any sleep last night. Rolland had no right to accuse her, of all people, to be working with Elias. Despite who her parents were, she isn't capable of doing the unspeakable things scientists have made us endure. I focus on my goal again. Revenge. That was the only thing I had on my mind when I left that lab in Florida. But now, it is so much more than that. It's not only about me anymore. It's about what the government has done to Marly, Kräne, Daniel, Maddox-all of them. It's about making sure they will never do it again, to anyone. They will not have the satisfaction of destroying orphaned children and anyone labeled as insignificant. The mental destruction, to me, is far worse than the physical. Sure you'll get scars, but the wounds will heal. The trauma, on the other hand, won't.
I take a deep breath and walk into the adjoining bathroom. This bathroom has two doors on opposite ends, probably leading to someone else's room. I tug my shirt over my head and stare at the stranger in the mirror. The jagged scars on my abdomen still prevail, each one reminding me of the incredible amount of pain they have been the result of. I tur--the door opens. Sadie walks in. Her mouth drops so slightly, I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't staring at her, equally petrified. Her eyes land on my scars. I move away. "Sorry," she says. "I didn't know anyone was in here." I clear my throat. She still hasn't left.
I cross my arms, attempting to hide my revolting scars. "I know you want to stay and watch, but I would prefer not having an audience while I shower." She's still here and remains unscathed by my comment. Her expression seems confused, but she says "Thank you, for yesterday." I look everywhere but her eyes. "Yeah, sure." She turns to leave but stops at the door and faces me again. She stares deep into my eyes, straight into my soul, looking for an answer she already knows.
She almost whispers her question. "Are those from the experiments?" Her eyes stay on my scars. No one has ever questioned them. I try to shrug it off like it's not a big deal. I nod, not knowing what else to say. She turns around, ready to leave. "Wait." I blurt. She looks at me again. I dig into my pocket and fish out her ring. "I found this on the dresser." She seems relieved but doesn't say anything. Her hand reaches out to mine. Her finger grazes my thumb, and it sends a shock of invisible electricity through my arm. Then, she leaves as quietly as she came.

After my shower, the smell of bacon and eggs fill the air. Surprisingly, it is Maddox at the stove cooking, while Marly and Sadie are quietly eating at the table. Daniel and Kräne are sitting in the main room loading guns and speaking in hushed voices, no one seems to question them. I don't want to know what they're up to either. I search the area for Rolland and Adrian, after yesterday, they were the most upset, but neither of them are here. "Has anyone seen Rolland?" I look around the room. No one seems to know. I stroll into the kitchen and grab an apple. I sit in front of Sadie to prove a point. I don't want her pity. "So you're sticking around?" I ask her casually, hoping to hide the curiosity in my voice. She looks up from her eggs. "I talked to my aunt and cousins," she swallows. "I'll be staying for awhile longer." Her voice becomes hard. "I want to help." I lean back in my chair. "Glad to hear it." I can see Maddox roll her eyes from across the kitchen. "I would mention that to Rolland if I were you." Sadie and Marly share a look, and I observe them. Marly must have taken her in last night. I can see how they must've bonded. The looks on their faces share more intent than a spoken conversation. Maddox turns the stove off and goes to sit with Kräne and Daniel. I wonder if she's mad. I don't have time to think more about it because Rolland and Adrian come walking in. Rolland's eyes graze Sadie's, but he doesn't say anything. "Okay everyone, you too newbie," he looks at Sadie. "We have to devise a new plan." He lifts his chin up. "A real one. I don't care if we have to kill someone, as long as it achieves our goal."  Everyone is silent.
"And what is the goal, exactly?" Of course it's Sadie asking the most ballsy question. I admire her boldness. Rolland isn't the one to answer; Adrian is. He says it like it's obvious. "To not only prove to the oblivious, mundane citizens here that their government is corrupted," he says. "but to release the helpless children held captive at the isolated laboratories."
Everyones' shoulders seem to sag. The weight of realization tends to do that to a person.