𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 [𝙸]

t w e n t y f i v e

|TwentyFive|

⑉

I didn't know what or how to feel.

Once again I was lost. Lucifer was confusing me, the Fates were confusing me and  I was only confusing myself.

Was Lucifer trying to prove to me that he now cared? If so, why now? And how could I be sure that it was Lucifer making the conscious decision and not the Fates? They had intervened before - what was stopping them from doing the same this time?

But most importantly, what did I want? Did I want Lucifer to stop playing his sick, twisted games with my heart and try to combine the harmonies with me? Yes. I did. But do I trust Lucifer? No.

He's played with my feelings since the start - ever since day one I have been nothing but another chess piece to win over. It always appeared that Lucifer was not like the warnings written and told about him, that he was different; a deep thinker, someone who was sweet with their actions and then something would happen. The wind would change its direction, someone would show up - Aggy, for example, and everything you thought you knew about Lucifer would filter away into ash. It would become apparent that he didn't care about you. He wanted to hurt you - he wanted to break your heart because it was all a just game to him. You were the pawn and held no chance winning the game.

I trembled against him as he pulled me near, his hands pressing against my back - trapping me in his hold.

My skin was burning; my cheeks flushed, my mind spinning in a heated overdrive - all because of Lucifer.

He liked messing with me, I realised. He enjoyed building me up only to tear me down. Just like he loved playing these games with all those other angels.

Even Aggy had failed. Her first words of advice to me was to give up. Back then I had assumed it was because she was jealous, but now I could see it was because she didn't want me to get hurt.

Too late.

And that made me realise another thing: I was the pawn piece. I was always going to be the pawn piece.

It was just how Lucifer's games worked.

Only, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust him. But it was a state of mind, an area where I was trapped. Bound by manacles.

"Something on your mind darling?" Lucifer murmured, his silky voice bringing me out of my trance - his grip still holding me close.