Accidentally Tasha

Chapter 4

Quote

If what you have done yesterday looks big to you, then you haven't done much today (Mikhail Gorbachev)

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I'm going home! Well, it's not really home but, you get what I mean. Mom (it still feels weird calling her that) is sorting out all the paperwork and Mary, who's become a favorite of mine despite her big mouth, is helping me put on my clothes. They've removed the bandage on my head but it still aches. I fractured my right arm when I fell down so it is in a cast.

"Are you excited to go home?" Mary asks.

"Yeah, a little bit. But I'm also scared." I answer.

"Why?" she asks.

"I don't know. What if I don't fit in?" I say.

"It's your family, of course you'll fit right in." she says.

I don't reply because I don't really know what to say. This isn't my family so I don't know how well I'll fit in. From what I've gathered, Tasha and I are complete opposites. I'll have to live a life that isn't mine. This is what I've signed up for, so I must strive to be a perfect Tasha Gardner. Mom comes in with a huge smile on her face.

"Are you ready to go?" she asks.

I nod, smiling at her. I turn to Mary and give her a bear hug. She laughs and says,

"Bye Tasha."

"Bye. I'll come greet you whenever I can." I say.

I leave the room with mom in tow. I don't really know what to say so I just keep silent. She does not seem to notice my silence as she is lost in a world of her own. She has a small smile on her face that seems to say everything will be okay. When we get to the parking lot, she leads me to a black Lexus. Wow, this family must be loaded. My mom couldn't afford this car even if its price was cut into half. It takes away some of the guilt I feel for my deceit. I get into the passenger seat and watch her pull out of the parking lot with familiarity. I wonder how many times she's been here.

"Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She says.

"How did I disappear?"

She keeps silent for a moment, and I don't think she is going to answer. She then says,

"You sneaked out of the house at night but didn't come back. We thought you'd gone to meet Sam but he said you two hadn't talked since you broke up." she sniffs and then continues "they thought you'd been killed but... I never lost hope."

I let the information sink in. Something about Tasha's disappearance feels off. Maybe she was indeed killed. This Sam guy looks suspicious. I look at mom who's trying really hard not to cry and immediately feel sorry for her. The Gardners have been through so much, no wonder they didn't question my identity.

"Had I been depressed or something?" I ask.

It feels odd to ask about Tasha as if I'm talking about myself but I guess I had better get used to that. Mom takes in a deep breath as if she is remembering something she doesn't want to. I am tempted to tell her that it's okay if she doesn't answer but I don't. I have to find out about every aspect of Tasha's personality if I am to impersonate her.

"You'd never really been a happy person. Ever since you were little you'd been... I don't know how to say this- angry, I guess. I think it started after your teachers made you repeat second grade. And when you became a teen it just spiraled into..."

"Self hate?" I ask.

She nods quietly. I can see the turmoil I'm putting her through by asking her these questions so I change the topic.

"Where are the others today?" I ask.

"Paul is at work. Olivia went back to the city on Sunday."

"And Jake?" I ask.
"Who knows?" she answers.

I smile at that. I have Jake figured out already. He is a free spirit, a very unpredictable person. Honestly, I like him the best.

"What work does dad do?" I ask.

"He's the sheriff." She answers proudly.

Lord in heaven. No wonder he was so apprehensive. He is used to suspecting everything around him. He will have me figured out by the end of the week. What if he decides to have a DNA test? A freaking background check of anyone who might remotely resemble his daughter? I'm dead as dead goes.

"What about you?"

"I'm own a couple businesses," she says.

Good. That means they're loaded. I have to be out of their hair by the end of this week. But before I do, I really need to take some money with me. I'm sure Tasha had some savings. But she's a teenager, I don't really expect much from her. I wonder whether they have some money lying around the house. No one is stupid enough to do that. I continue to think of ways to get money and doze off somewhere in the middle of a very bad idea involving holding the Gardners hostage and scaring them off with Paul's gun.

***

I feel someone's hand on my shoulder and a soft voice calling my name.

"Tasha! Tasha!"

I open my eyes and see mom smiling at me. For a fraction of a second, I think that it is my real mother calling me.

"Mom?" I say.

She continues smiling and says, "We're home."

I look outside my window and see a house that looks as though it had been built in the twenties. It is rosy beige stucco with a tiny porch and a patchy front yard. Most of the houses on this street have the same design. I get out of the car and sit on the steps as I wait for mom. She sits on the steps next to me and puts her arm around me. I draw myself closer to her and lay my head on her shoulder.

"I missed you. We all did."

"But you missed me the most," I say.

She chuckles quietly and I notice how small her teeth her. She catches me staring at her and smiles some more.

"Do I have any childhood friends?" I ask.

She points to the house opposite ours and tells me that I did have friends there but they moved to Alaska. She tells me about all our neighbors and their gossip, including which kids she doesn't like and which ones she'd like to see me hang out with. I have a feeling that the kids she doesn't like are indeed Tasha's friends but I keep that to myself. After half an hour, we enter the house to escape the hot mid-afternoon heat.