Accidentally Tasha

Chapter 17

Week one

The tension in Jake and the boys is visible. I can tell that they're trying really hard to be patient. No producer has called, and I have this huge suspicion that no one listens to the demos they keep dropping off at music production companies. I feel sorry for them, but I try to stay positive and cheerful for them.

Week two

No one has called. They're all beginning to get antsy, and I can feel it reflected on Ashton's kisses. I'm getting worried.

Week three

Still no calls. I'm at the third stage of worrying now, which is: looking at Ashton and Jake quietly during my time with them. No point in trying to stay positive if no one is going to listen to you anyway.

Week four

No one in their right state of mind calls a band after four weeks of nothing. I think it's safe to say that no one will ever call. I look at Jake sadly. His eyes are constantly filled with tears, although he won't let anyone see them. Dad is looking at him with that 'I told you so' smirk that I've come to hate so much. Mom is sad for her son, as any mother would be. Olivia weaves in and out of our lives, barely noticeably, but I notice there's a sense of disappointment in her visits too.

Ashton has grown distant, although he tries to hide it. He's cancelled our last two dates, and now I'm getting scared.

Even Lars and Dan don't come over often. When they do, there's always a sense of failure hovering in the air. The disappointment is evident in their eyes. I'd ask Lars to tell his famous parents to pull in some connections, but he has too much pride in that. He wants to be a self made man, just like his dad.

None of this makes me realize that I can help the boys. It's when I find Jake studying some college websites and tells me that he's going to have to take a law degree that I snap out of my cocoon. The lawyer Jake in my imagination is a sad Jake, and I can't have a sad Jake running around in real life.

So I do the only thing a sister would do for their beloved brother. I call Nyanda and tell her that I'm going somewhere, and that I need her to lie that I'm going to accompany her to her grandmother's this weekend. I promise to be back by Sunday. As I pack my duffel bag with a pair of jeans, two T shirts, toothbrush and all the money I've amassed in my time here, I laugh.

Love, it makes you do crazy things.

Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd be going to my old life as Julia, and come back again voluntarily.

So as I kiss Jake goodbye, I have a song in my heart. A song of sisterly affection for this charming guy who's not my brother; but my heart dances to its tune in all adoration.

I'm going to Memphis.

I'm going to see Andy.

Week four, Saturday.

The journey was long, and I had to connect three buses to get here. Andy had better not moved, or my journey will be pointless.

Andy was an ex boyfriend of my mother's. He was ten years younger than her and six years older than me, but he was one of the good ones. He always treated me like his little sister. Too bad my mamma couldn't hold onto good guys for long. It's only the bad ones that stayed for months on end. Anyway, Andy was studying music production while I still knew him. I suspect that's the reason mom was attracted to him in the first place. She wanted a guy who'd make her famous at last.

By now he must be done with college, and should be working. I visit the nearest music production company and ask for Andy Prince. No one by that name works there. So I move to the next company. And the next. And the next. And the next...