❏ the edge ❐ joshler // short story

øne // døn't

"i swear to god if you fucking touch me i will jump" tyler harshly yelled at the boy on the other side of the railing. tyler's whole life had been a complete pile of shit, and he was sick of it. he made himself sick, he made others sick of him. he was a disease, and he was helping many by eradicating himself.

the wind blowed into his face, his hair flipping about haphazardly in every direction. the coolness on his face tried to calm him down, but the rage at himself boiled so much, that it just annoyed him more. he stared into the water below. one step and this horrible nightmare can be all over. never again would he have to face his demons, his enemies, anyone. all over.

josh, tyler's best friend (also boyfriend as of 3 years now), didn't want this, however. although tyler loved josh, he just wished he would go away. he wanted all of this to end. if he listened to josh, he might be persuaded to climb back over. go home. the last place he wants to be in.

"tyler if you jump, i'm going to jump in after you, so don't you fucking dare" josh warned, his tone as serious as it could be. tears started to form in tyler's eyes. this should be easy. he just wanted to die, was that really too much? the only person who would even bother going to his funeral was josh, and that meant something. it meant that tyler wasn't needed.

"just... leave me alone. leave me to die, i don't want to be here. don't you realise trying is just killing me even more than death would?" he screamed, the tears in his eyes stinging them, blurring his vision. he rubbed his temples with his index and middle fingers. he pushed a little harder, a small ache in his head beginning to appear. his eyebrows knitted together. there was always pain, even if it was small. always. little things like this reminded him of that.

tyler was cut out of this thinking when he heard footsteps approaching him, so he whipped around and stared at the blue haired boy in front of him. he had his arms out in front of him, palms faced outwards as if he was surrendering. he stared straight into tyler's eyes, begging for time to talk, to persuade. to stop tyler jumping. tyler's eyes filled with caution, almost telling him without words to stay back.

"walk any closer..." tyler stuck his hand out in front of him, stopping josh in his tracks. he looked to tyler with a sorrowful expression, he just wanted to help. but shouldn't he have realised he wasn't helping? tyler wanted to go, if he didn't, he'd be living in torture. he has been for the last 24 years of his life. and he'd had enough.

"tyler. stop it. stop fucking acting as if nothing will happen to me if you jump. and don't you dare say i'm being selfish. just... wait. let me talk, tyler" josh whispered, just loud enough that the wind didn't whisk his words away. tyler looked down at josh, his clothes sticking to his stomach from the wind pushing it that way. his blurred vision cleared up slightly as he looked back at josh, who genuinely seemed concerned. he didn't climb back over the railing, but he was willing to listen to josh.

"go on then" tyler ushered him, rolling his eyes. his mouth was upturned into a frown, his lips slightly parted, exposing his crooked teeth. his breathing came out heavy and ragged, almost adding to the atmosphere around the two. josh also held a frown, but his was more desperate, more concentrating. he was figuring out what to say.

"how can you do this tyler? you know that so many people fucking love you, man. including me. do you even know how i'd feel without you? my life eould be even more shit than it was without you. because i'd know what i've lost. i can't loose you, tyler. not after everyone else i've lost too" josh's voice cracked multiple times, a few stray tears rolling down his cheeks. this boy -tyler- meant so much to him. tyler felt as if he was nothing, but to josh, he was his world. his center of gravity. the only reason josh was here. his purpose.