❏ the edge ❐ joshler // short story

twø // take

tyler's grip on the red rails behind him strengthened, and a few of the tears that brimmed his eyes rolled down his cheeks and stuck there. whilst josh was helping tyler recall his childhood memory, he had inched closer and closer, and now he was only a few steps away. he had to resist the urge to move those few steps forward and brush away the tears, because if tyler says he would jump, he would. they'd known each other too long, and josh knew tyler always meant what he said.

josh took note that tyler looked as if he was considering climbing back over, meaning his idea was starting to work. he thought that if he reminded tyler about how people do care and love him, he would come back. because that's the point of suicide, right? when you feel that no one cares and that it wouldn't make a difference if you left. josh came to change that.

"tyler, people really do care about you, i care about you. so please, just come ho-"

"wow, yeah like one memory is going to make me change my mind about my whole life" tyler said, his voice monotonous, unfeeling. but josh knew otherwise. he knew the memory had made just that little bit harder to go. so why stop now?

"maybe not one, but the memories will keep you here, tyler. i will keep you here. and i know theres people you don't want to see, so you can stay with me. we can be together, tyler. just us, no one can hurt you" joshs voice was laced with hope, and it was pleading. his words sunk into tyler mind, planting the thought of a haven, with only the two boys.

they would live somewhere isolated, remote. he didn't care about what it would look like, what the weather was like etc etc, because with josh, anything could be beautiful. that was how much josh changed tyler's life. enough to let him see beauty in the ugliest of times, places. but not the time now, not the place now. it had to end. now.

"i- i want to but..." he swallowed. what was keeping him back from this? he thought back to all the times he was bullied, called useless, ugly, worthless. the times when he was told that he should kill himself, the times when no one stood up for him. it was poison, leaking into his bloodstream, corrupting his mind. that was what was holding him back. it was a battle between the poison, and josh. the antidote that tyler could take, but still hasn't.

"josh, i can't. i- i don't want to be here anymore" he looked down at the waters below him again. "and i'm not the only one who wants me to go, either" he silently cried. the waves below were thrashing against the rocks. tyler wouldn't feel any pain, he could easily smash his skull onto one of the rocks and it would be it. just one step...

"what about your 14th birthday party?"
____________________________________

tyler was sat alone on his beige couch, constantly checking his new watch that his parents had gifted him. it was his 14th birthday, and he'd invited a few friends round for a sleepover, just for old time's sake. he didn't want to admit it, being mature and all, but he couldn't wait, the anticipation taking over his mind. he felt giddy all over, and was sat, twitching from the excitement, until 2:00 for his friends to come round.

currently, it was 1:30 which meant he had half an hour. he already got dressed into some joggers and a hoodie, it was his usual style of clothes. his birthday didn't mean he had to change it, and anyway, he felt comfortable in them.

tyler turned on the tv to try and distract him from the nerves tingling down his spine. although it slightly worked, he was still itching to see his friends. of course, he invited josh. they were best friends, and at school they never left each other for a second. he also invited dallon and brendon. yes, when they were kids they weren't the closest of friends. no, not even friends, they were enemies. but since then, tyler became good friends with dallon which resulted into brendon also becoming a good friend. now that they actually socialised without being at each others throats, he found brendon to be a pretty fly guy.