All Things Blue

9. All Things Race

I knew Blue was the one, but he was not at all a suitable partner for me and I soon realized I was going to have to mold him into it. He was used to girls fawning over his looks and bad boy demeanor and sex came so easy to him, it was hard for him to acknowledge anything else women brought to the table.

His interests were not exactly things I could ever pretend to be interested in and he was intentional about keeping them separate from me. He liked to hang with his friends, smoke, and work on cars. It seemed like whenever he needed to sleep with someone, he found a girl at school or on instagram, messaged them for a couple days and had sex.

When he wanted to be around me, he'd pause all of the inner workings of his life, and use me as his platonic entertainment until he was ready to press play again.

We knew we had something special but we weren't together and that made it so I couldn't demand anything from him. I knew I needed to make life with me, seem much more rewarding than sex with easy girls desperate to gain a new body. Above all things, I knew I had to get Blue to mix me into his life if we were ever going to have a shot.

Meanwhile, Santana was having the opposite problem.

" It's just like why does he want to be around me so much, I get that he likes me but gosh," she complained.

" What? Do you not like him anymore?" I asked digging through my drawer to find more flattering undergarments.

" No, I still like him. I think he's just got more free time than me so it feels like as soon as I get out of a practice or come home from a game and I've got some free time for myself, he wants to hang out,"

I had gone home after dance practice instead of Santana's but we were on the phone anyways while I got some more clothes from my house. " Maybe you should tell him you don't want to hang out as much," I suggested.

" It's not that I don't- it's that, well, I can't. And he's so sweet gosh I don't want to mess this up," Santana sighed. " You're not going to mess it up, just be lucky you're with someone who actually likes you more than..." I started and as I grabbed a couple pairs of socks.

" Oh please, someone can show they like you without spending like every waking moment with you, and we talked about this, you can't expect him just to do a complete 180 because he met you," she said. I didn't agree with that statement at all when Santana was getting exactly what I wanted.

Then I got an idea.

" Actually, Santana when they came together, they left pretty fast remember," I hinted.

" Yeah but that was the only time. Every other time I have to practically kick him out or be a walking zombie at practice the next day," Santana explained. " I think we can help each other, if I can get Blue hanging out with Taj then maybe that part of him that's buried deep deep down and wants to be boyfriend material will come out," I mused.

" And what have I been saying about Blue?' I asked raising my eyebrow. Santana was quiet for a second before I heard her laugh, "Ohh girl you are crazy, I love it," she said. And so we hatched a plan to start inviting them over together. Blue would keep Taj from staying too late and Taj would bring Blue for me in a low pressure environment and hopefully in the process, mold him into boyfriend material.

Over the days we saw them, Blue's disposition changed like the weather. Sometimes he was talkative and loquacious, with the curiosity of a child, asking me every detail of dance practice I'd had that day. Other times he was withdrawn and secretive, offering nothing to the conversation and reverting to monosyllabic words making it very clear he'd rather be anywhere but with us.

But above all things, I noticed Blue made all the decisions for the room. When he was ready to go, Taj and him left. When Blue wanted all four of us to engage in conversations we did so with casual indifference and when he wanted to start some innocuous controversy, he made wild claims about the bourgeoisie endowing lively conversations for the couple weeks they hung out with us.