"Daddy!' I squealed into the phone.
"Not daddy, mommy." my mom said.
"Is dad okay?" I asked.
"He just got to recovery. He wants to talk to you but he is a little groggy and confused."
"Okay."
A few moments later my dads voice came through the phone, "Hey babygirl."
I smiled, "Hi daddy. How are you feeling?"
"I found out I actually do have a brain." he tried to joke.
I laughed, "That's good."
"I'm going to be okay Lex." he said in a more calm voice.
"I know." I responded.
"See you in a few days."
"Alright, dad. Love you." I said.
"Love you too." and we hung up.
I smiled up at Logan and laid my head on his chest as he rubbed my back. I felt so much better knowing my dad was okay. Logan and I laid together on the lawn for another hour or so just enjoying each others company. Travis and Sarah had to run some errands so they left Logan, Jax and I alone. The Clarks have an apartment above their garage for when Logan's grandparents come to visit. As soon as Travis pulled out of the driveway Logan and I ran up there and cuddle on the bed.
"How are you Lexi?" he asked.
I looked up at him," What do you mean? I'm fine."
"I mean, are you okay with everything?" he asked.
I smiled and kissed his cheek, "Don't worry about me."
He smiled back and climbed on top of my kissing my neck. He grabbed my shirt and pulled it up over my head and off. Exposed. There were my cuts and of course Logan noticed. He stopped and his face turned to anger. I wanted to cry but I've been doing to much of that lately so I did everything in my power not too.
"What are you doing Lex?" Logan said holding my arm in a harsh whisper.
I pulled it out of his grip, "Please, Logan..."
"I get it your stressed but this again?!" he didn't want to yell but I don't think he could help it.
"It's not like I don't want to stop." I said.
"If you wanted to stop you would've stopped!" his face was turning red.
"Logan, stop yelling at me." I was a soft whisper.
"I'm worried about you Alexia!" he said.
I stood up and my face was in his, "I get it Logan! But I'm not some helpless puppy dog that can't take care of herself!"
He got angrier and grabbed onto my arms. I didn't know what to expect but he pushed me back onto the bed and stormed out of the room. I laid there and cried. Logan never put his hands on me like that before. I grabbed my razor, why is this what I turn to when things get hard? I want to stop. My crying was uncontrollable as I watched the blood drip. When I calmed myself down enough I put on my shirt and I heard Logan outside. I stood on the deck of the apartment and watched him kick stones in the driveway. I felt bad. I needed him. I ran out of the apartment and leaped into his arms.
"I'm so sorry." he whispered in my ear between tears, "I love you more than I can explain."
For the rest of the night Logan and I were quiet and cuddly. Things won't be the same between us at least not for awhile. I woke up the next morning and there was a bruise on my left arm because of how hard Logan grabbed onto me. I went to school and drug my feet the whole day. I cried at least four times. Mr. Cruz last class of the day. It seemed like it was mandatory to get called to see him after class now.
"How are you feeling, Lex?" he asked leaning against the front of his desk.
"Fine." my voice was low, "I'm really sorry about yesterday."
"I told you yesterday it was okay." he paused, "But, whatever this secret is I can see is eating you alive. I'll keep it confidential."
"You can't!" I said in a whisper type yell, "If I were to tell you, you would be obligated to tell someone else."
"That scares me, Alexia." he started to shake his finger and walked around his desk, "Can we play a guessing game?"
"Why do you care so much?" I asked.
"It's my job." he said.
I sighed, "It's your job to teach not to care about your students petty problems."
"A petty problem is when two girls are fighting in the hallway because they wore the same outfit. Your problems on the other hand have me worried about your well being." he said.
Just to get him off my back I say, "I'll tell you when I get back from Boston but for now I really do have to go." I started toward the door.
"I want your word, Alexia." he looked at me.
I shook my head and left. I grabbed my things from my locker and went to practice. After practice I went back home to pack my things for Boston since I was leaving tomorrow morning. I checked my email on my computer.
"I saw the bruise on your arm. This is an even bigger secret that I just can't wait to spill to your dad. -xoxox"
Who does this person think they are? They really need to leave me alone because I'm tired of it. Now that Logan knows about my cutting I don't care if he sees the notes so I print this one out and take it to him.
"I left a bruise?" he felt so bad, I silently shook my head and watched as lifted my sleeve to inspect the damage he left. His eyes filled with tears, "I'm so sorry. I'll tell my dad right now." he stood up but I quickly grabbed his arm.
"Not only would your dad beat the crap out of you but so would mine. Don't say a word to anyone about this!" I said.
"I deserve to have the crap beaten out of me. I never wanted to hurt you Lex." he said.
"Logan stop. You didn't kill me you pushed me onto a soft bed. I'm just worried about this person telling." I said.
He sighed, "Lies always come out in the end Lexi."
"It won't be a lie if no one asks. Nobody needs to know." I assured him, "I have to get to the airport."
I went inside and thanked Travis and Sara for letting me stay with them for a few days. Logan walked me outside and gave me and a long hug before I left. He was still crying. It seemed like forever to get on the plane. When I finally landed in Boston my dad sent Shay to pick me up since he hasn't left yet.
I was all smiles when I saw him, "Shay!" I yelled and ran over to him.
He hugged me, "Hey, Lex." he smiled.
"How's my dad?" I asked.
"He's strong." he nodded, "Let's get you to the hotel." and he put his arm around my shoulder.
When we go to the hotel I dropped off my things. It was 3:30 in Boston so I couldn't see my dad tonight I had to wait until morning. In the morning I quickly showered and waited for Shay to knock on mine and my moms room to drive me over. My mom wasn't here last night she stayed with me dad in the hospital. It wasn't until about ten when shay came over. We both walked to the hospital. When I got there my dad sleeping his head was all bandaged up and half of his head was shaved. I felt so bad for him but he's such a strong man. My mom and grandma came over to me hugged me tight and I smiled up at them both and my mom kissed the top of my head.
"He's okay." she whispered and smiled.
I sat down at the chair closest to my dad's bed and waited for at least an hour for him to wake up.
"Hey there's my little monster." he said.
"I'm not so little anymore dad." I smiled.
"Oh yeah that's right you're fifteen." his voice was still groggy and slow, "Come give me a hug."
I jumped up and carefully hugged my dad as a few silent happy tears slid down my cheek, "I love you so much."
"I love you too." he said.
