*Logan's POV
The police pulled into my driveway and I gulped. I really wish I had what it took to end it all because it was all about to end for me. I wasn't sure how to explain where I've been or what I've done. The officer opened the door of his car for me. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. We walked up to the door of my house and before the officer could even knock the door swung open. My dad was standing there face dark and hollow it looked like he hasn't slept since I left. I looked straight to the ground. It took him a second to snap out of it and realize I was standing there. There was immediate hugging and pulling me into the house. My mom was crying tears of joy so was dad. Jax even ran to me and gave me a hug. Charles was there he patted my shoulder and told me he was glad I was home, he was glad I was alive before he left. The officer didn't stay long so soon it was just me, mom, dad, and Jax. No one wanted to move. No one wanted to say anything. The officer didn't say much before they left just "found him on the other side of town. Seems to be okay. Says he lost his car." I don't know how you misplace a car but it's the best thing I could come up with.
"It's been four days, where have you been?" My dads voice was low, eerily calm.
I couldn't look at him, "just around."
"Where have you been?!" he screamed so loud Jax ran up to his room and I jumped back, "do you have any idea what you put us through?"
"I'm sorry." I really couldn't say anything else.
"Honey we're so glad you're home." My moms eyes were filled with pure happiness.
"Where's your truck?" My dad was looking at floor.
I gulped and stood up, "I'm really tired..."
"Logan..." my dad warned.
Tears were filling my eyes, "Dad, please" I whispered.
"Please what?" He was final and his words felt sharp.
"You don't want to know where my car is." My dads head shot up and I immediately looked to the ground.
"Come here." He said. I looked up at him then my mom not moving. I knew I had to. I knew if I didn't things would only get worse. I walked over to him and he grabbed onto my wrists firm and tight "where is your car?"
I closed my eyes hard I felt the warm tears going down my face, "at the bottom of the lake at camp"
He looked at me shocked and jaw dropped, I felt his grip loosen I tried to pull away but he gripped back tighter than before, "what happened?"
"I wanted to die. I tried to drown myself but I backed out as soon as I started to feel the water fill my car. I was scared and went out the window and watched my car sink." I was sobbing and had to pause between every few words. He let go of my wrists, "I love you." I looked to my mom wiping my face, "I love you too."
My dad stood and I flinched back I thought he was going to hit me. We've been fighting so much and I just keep making things worse. His face twinged with pain. I know I lost his trust and he knows he lost mine. He pushed his hands deep into his pockets. No one said anything when we heard steps from my brother from behind.
"Are you guys done yelling?" He asked.
I looked at my dad hoping for mercy, "Yeah, Jax." He sighed.
He ran straight to me and hugged me tight, he was crying so I started crying, "I'm sorry. I'm home."
After Jax let go of me I went the shower. The water hurt my fresh bruises and wounds. I left out the part about where I was for the last four days. Who I was staying with. What they were doing to me. I don't know if that's a part of my story my parents will ever know. I wish it was a part that couldn't remember. I walked back to my room and everything was right where I left it. Except my phone was gone. I figured it was punishment or my parents took it in hopes someone would call about my whereabouts.
My dad peeked his head in from the hallway, "can you sleep with your door open tonight?"
I just started crying. Hysterically and uncontrollably. I saw an initial eye roll from my dad I don't think he meant it to be as cold as it felt. Every part of my body gave up. I didn't want sympathy or pity I just really couldn't control it. I was hungry and in pain and in desperate need to feel loved. I knew they loved me but I wanted to feel it. He sat at the edge of my bed and tried to pull me into a hug but I panicked and pushed away accidentally kicking him hard in the side. I couldn't breathe. I wasn't okay. Not a piece of me was okay.
"Logan." My dad said and I looked at him, "what's wrong?"
"Can I sleep on your floor." I asked.
He nodded and I followed him into his room with my pillows and blankets I saw my parents give concerned looks to each other as I made my bed on the ground. I felt like a child but I didn't want to be alone.
The lights were out and my dad was clearly sleeping, "mom?" I whispered.
Her voice was soft and sleepy, "what is it honey?"
"Can I stay home from school tomorrow? I'll go back Monday." I asked.
"Yes. Get some rest." She whispered back.
I rolled over and laid wide awake through the night.
