An office story//Karmagisa

Chapter 15.

"Irina" i said. Karma looked at me apathetically. "Irina is everyone's problem." He said. I had to agree to that unfortunately. "Then what?" I asked him, making him sigh. He shrugged and leaned back so he was leaning his elbows on steps.

"Start with your mom i guess?" He suggested. I swallowed, doubted if I should say anything at all. "I'm not sure I..." I started but I didn't finish my sentence. Karma looked at me a little disappointed but he didn't push me further. "Okay then how about we discuss something else for now?" I nodded to that.

And so a silense fell. It was quite uncomfortable and I wasn't even sure why Karma was even silent in the first place. I tilted my head towards him in confusioj before realizing what he meant. "OH you want ME to suggest a topic?" I pointed at myself. At that Karma couldn't keep in his laughter. "If you'd be any denser you'd be on Karasuma's level." He joked as he lightly punched my shoulder. I laughed a little before sighing as I thought of a topic.

"Well there is one slight detail that has been bothering me sort of..." I started. Karma seemed to be all ears, so I sighed and readies myself to say it. "See, I don't actually known when your birthday is and looking it up on your facebook makes me think I'm a bad boyfriend. Karma scoffed this time, obviously hiding another laugh. "December 25th." He told me, seemingly amused. I nodded to show I heard, but then I realised it.

"YOUR BIRTHDAY IS ON CHRISTMAS?!" I yelled at him in confusion. Karma smiled and nodded. Man I felt sort of stupid. "But that is like....this week?!?" I continued. Karma nodded again. Stress was creeping up my back at this point, as this was something I should've known and prepared. "Well how am I supposed to get you a present by the end of this week?!?" I panicked.

At this Karma moved forwards and grabbed my shoulders, making me look at him. His eyes looked sort of sad as I studied his face so close to mine. "You don't have to give me a present." Was all he said. I moved back in confusion. "Dude, I'm your boyfriend technically I should probably give you a christmas present like I do for my friends." Karma's face saddened even more. Apparently the thought of present were not something he liked. So I decided to drop the topic and look into it later.

"Well...mine is july 20th" I awkwardly told him. Karma let out a nervous laugh. Why did he let out a nervous laugh. "I sort of already know that." He admitted. Yet again I tilted my head. Karma scratches the back of his neck as he spoke again. "Yeah unlike you I did scroll through your entire facebook..." Did he just admit to being a stalker?

"Find anything else interesting?" I teased him. Karma blushed a little, which I thought was sort of cute. He looked away from me but I bent so I was in his view again. "A lot of pictures with your friends..." was all he said.

Ah. It wasn't difficult for me to understand what it was that he was so nervous about. I took out my phone and opened the facebook app. Karma looked up curiously as I scrolled through my pictures. There I found a picture of me and Kayano, several actually. I showed him my phone screen. "You saw her you mean?"

Karma looked at my screen awkwardly. "Yeah." He said. I let out a laugh as I moved my phone back ton myself. "That's Kayano." I told him. "She's my best friend I met in college. Everyone thinks we are dating but really we are just friends who both don't know their boundries....also we ironically call our hang outs 'dates'."

That confused Karma even more. How did I know it confused him? He told me. "Nagisa that is so much bullshit it confuses me." I was a little taken back by that answer. "Well it's the truth." I answered. "...you sure?" He asked, dubiously.

"Karma you're acting like a jealous boyfriend and you should really just realize I did not lie to you." There, I put it out for him. I looked at him, anticipation hiding within me, hoping he'd realise I was telling the truth. "My god how can I say I don't trust you with your puppie eyes." Karma said. I giggled at that and he seemed to Like that.

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We must've sat on that stairs for quite some time. Me and Karma talked about a lot of stuff. I told him about all of my friends, my tea addiction and hobbies I had during college. He, in return, told me about his party habits in college and the job he had before working for Karasuma.

"And your friends?" I asked him, after realizing he never really spoke about any of his friends even when I did. "Well...you already know Nakamura." Karma started, but it seemed that was also all he was going to say. "Don't tell me you don't have ANY other friends?" I questioned him.

Karma shrugged, as if there was nothing wrong with that. In my opinion it was. "I mean I have people I hang out with, I just don't know if I'd call them friends you know?" He told me as he dazed off.

I blinked a few times. I then studied Karma's face. It showed disinterest. It seemed Karma really didn't feel the need for many friends. Not that I had the largest friend group. We were at a total number of 5.

"Well I'm sure my friends'll accept you in our group, you can just hang with us and see if you'd like to call them your friends." I smiled. Karma looked at me confused, but then smiled. "You're too much of an angel." He said, obviously more to himself then to me. No matter what, I took it as a compliment.

I then realized that it was my turn to talk again. And though I did not want to, i realized there was stuff Karma should know. Even if I earlier said that I didn't want to talk about it. Karma had told me stuff he'd rather hide, so I shouldn't hide my stuff.

"My mom always wanted a girl." I started telling. Karma suddenly looked at me in surprise. He seemed interested, but not in a fascinating kind of way. It felt more as if he was ready to listen and help. So I continued.

"See, the reason I grew out my hair is because she wanted me to. She'd get angry with me of I said the stuff she got for me was girly, and she definetly hated it when I asked if I could do stuff people associate with boys.

And then one day I told her I wouldn't take it anymore. I was 16 back then. I yelled at her that as soon as I was 18 I would go to college and leave home, that she wouldn’t control my life anymore."

I hadn't realised I started crying. Karma wiped away a tear from my cheeck. I looked up at him. He was smiling. Not a smirk, not a laugh, not even the nice beautiful smile. This smile was encouraging. It was as if he was telling me to continue. To let it out.

"I made a deal with my mom. She'd accept and let me be who I am. She agreed to finally realizing I was a boy and that sometimes I would do boy stuff. I also would not have to listen to her decision on what college to go to. Instead I would choose everything myself, but if in the future she noticed I was not living proper, I'd have to come back to listen to her again." I finished. I had no more words. I didn't feel like letting out my complaints over this stupid deal I made when I was 16. I just....wanted to cry.

And so I did. Uncontrollable sobs escaped me as I dropped my head into my hands. I heard Karma say my name, but I wasn't sure how tk react. I wasn't even sure if I could use my voice. If I tried to talk, perhaps no sound would come out. Or maybe it would just be louder sobs. I was happy we were alone. I was a mess and nobody should see me like this.

Except Karma. Karma took ahold of me. He took me in his arms and held me in his embrace. I had 3 seconds of silence because of the sudden movement but then continued my uncomfortable crying noises. Karma repeated my name again, but I still had no answer.

A/N: this chapter was actually even longer...I just kept writing this one scene...so if I actually have time tonight (due to christmas aaaaye) I'll post more!(karasuma diaries already upcoming)

Ps. Yes I would finish on christmas, as In christmas day...as in tomorrow....as in karma's birthday yaayy!