Meant For You

Don't Feel

Chapter 30: Don’t feel

--- Hope POV ---

TOURN APART?

Does this mark the end of Harry and Hope’s relationship? Just four months into the tour and already one relationship has fallen. 

Hope, now 19, had a major fashion show appearance in New York two days ago. It marked a milestone in her career and she seemed ecstatic. Her younger sister Ivy (13) and fashion designer mother, Lily Cameno, flew out to New York from their home in London, to watch Hope strut down the runway and introduce her designs. The fashion show was a huge success, with many of Hope’s designs being sold to well-known celebs for upcoming red-carpet events.

Sources had told us that her heartthrob, boy band, boyfriend, Harry Styles (19), was to be in attendance. Yet, he was never seen. A seat remained empty in the front row of the audience that was exclusively reserved for the pop star and his one night attendance in support of his yearlong girlfriend.

Later that night when the show had ended, one of our sources caught sight of a distraught looking Hope, alone on the runway, phone in her hands. We’ll not disclose to you the content of the conversation, but Hope was definitely talking to her, now, ex-boyfriend Harry. 

It turns out that the One Direction boys needed to leave New York early and while this was all checked out with their tour schedule, everyone failed to inform Cameno of the plans. The conversation showed the stress the couple was under due to their lack of contact. Broken apart by a tour.

By the end of the phone call Hope was on the ground in tears. Even though she was the one doing the breaking. We believe that there was more to their relationship than everyone saw as talk of a promise was swapped during the one ended conversation. It makes us wonder what Harry’s reaction was. Yet, at the time of the breakup, Styles was out of the public eye, locked in his tour bus with the rest of his band.

Yesterday morning however, a shot was snapped of the pop star as he emerged from the bus to go into the arena. He looked less than happy. The normally jubilant teen had dark red rimmed eyes, ruffled, unruly hair, and crumpled clothes. It seems they’re both taking this hard. 

Again, during yesterday’s show, Hope wasn’t seen. We know that she was behind the scenes as she sent many tweets about her excitement for the show, still, she never stepped out into the spot light. Well, she did once. She was caught leaving a food store with fellow model and best friend Abigail Monroen (20), with a bag that was suspected to contain a large tub of ice-cream and two blocks of chocolate. If that doesn’t spell post-breakup-food I don’t know what does.

Harry has posted some cryptic messages on twitter also, that has the social networking site exploding with speculations. The first was “@Harry_Styles: I’m sorry gorgeous girl” and the second “@Harry_Styles: You promised. Promises, I guess, are always broken.” Their fan base responded with masse upon masses of tweets asking the cause of his saddened words. The rest of the boys posted more cryptic messages such as “We don’t understand” or “Not you too.” Hope remained dubiously silent to his tweets only tweeting off the fashion topic once with “@Hope_Cameno: I just can’t…”

They haven’t gone public with their spilt but our source witnessed the conversation and you can see the aftermath with your own eyes. It came as a shock when the source rang in with this information, along with a video of the devastated Hope, but words and images tend not to lie.

We hate to say goodbye to our favourite young golden couple, but perhaps we don’t have to. Many couples go through this and we can only hope that they work it out. Until then, we’ll be watching both of their progress carefully. 

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Those rats! How could they! That was a private conversation! I just… I broke things off with Harry only two days ago and already they’ve caught wind of it. Even worse still, someone else was present when I was talking to him and they didn’t leave to give me my privacy. 

Perhaps it was my fault that they heard. I mean, I was out in the middle of the room shouting at him… but it’s just common decency to not listen in on people’s conversations. At least they didn’t print a transcript of our argument. I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle that.

I’ve been trying to avoid everything to do with Harry. I’ve seen his tweets but I ignore what he’s saying and only repeat what I think. I can’t. I’ve been ignoring all the boys calls too. Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn. They’ve all tried to call me. I didn’t pick up. I don’t want to pick up. I love them all, but I need them to stop. I don’t want to text them, and I don’t want to hear their voices, so the only thing left is another cryptic Tweet.

I pull up the app on my phone before taking a deep breath and typing.

@HopeCameno: It’s a lost cause.

I know it sounds like I’m talking about something entirely different but in my mind, as clouded as it is, the tweet seems to work. I send it off and immediately, as if they’ve been stalking my news feed, I get a call from Lou. I break down into tears.

And then there are the fans. Most of them seem really supportive, both to me and Harry, neither taking one side or the other. Then, there’s the hater Directioners and Camenos – apparently I have my own fan base?

They are at war with each other and at war with Harry and me… at least from what I’ve seen. Still, the other guys have been defending us whenever they can. I think Harry probably told them what happened, because from what I could see, they weren’t blaming me.

But some of them… they just wouldn’t stop…

@HarrysWife: @HopeCameno Who the hell do you think you are you slut? I bet you’re already shagging another guy, Harry meant nothing to you. You used him to gain fame. Be ashamed.

@SluttCentral: @HopeCameno User much? So what, you get bored or something with your boy toy? I bet it was all a hoax anyway. Do you even care that he’s hurting?

Those were the ones that hurt the most. The ones that said that I didn’t care. That I used him. The ones that are trying to tell me that the pain tearing at my chest isn’t real. 

I wish I could reply to them. To tell them. Tell them that I love him with all my heart but I can’t do it anymore, that he couldn’t make it to the most important night of my career, and that we would have to wait months to sort it out. I couldn’t tell them that. I couldn’t tell them that I don’t know what happened, or why I did it, and all I know is that right now, I’m not thinking straight and I can’t actually feel my own heart beating anymore. 

I know that eventually, when I snap out of whatever limbo I’ve fallen into, I’ll see what’s really happening, but at the moment I’m totally blind to the world around me.

“Hope. Please come out.” I hear Abi call softly through the door of the hotel room. I’ve basically turned into a hermit for the past two days… yeah, I looked out the window this morning and the sunlight kind of burned my skin… then I broke down crying… again.

I don’t reply to Abi.

“Pea. I know you’re in there. You better open this bloody door now or I will get a sexy fireman to do it for me!” She shouts and normally I would’ve laughed. Normally. 

Instead I sit on my bed and stare at the door. I don’t know if I’m hoping it implodes or perhaps even, when I finally do open it, I’ll come out somewhere – anywhere – but here. 

--- Harry POV ---

You know that point in your life where things just don’t seem… <e