The Criminal's Eyes - Daniel Howell

Chapter 21

Dan's P.O.V

I knew that if I asked her with that pleading look in my eyes, she'd agree to wait until morning. She loves me too much to say no. I can feel that only the top layers of my skin have been broken by the tip of the bullet, the rest lodged inside the vest  - so much for completely 'bulletproof' - but the pain is still excruciating.

There's practically no light now, even the shimmer coming from the moon has been blocked by the mist and the clouds gathered in front of it, yet I still know exactly where she is in front of me. I feel the breeze coming from in front of me stop, replaced with warmth and the sound of her breathing. As she lays down next to me I have to stop myself from wishing we could stay like this forever, alone where no-one can find us in the darkness and I can feel her next to me until I truly do die. I know this won't last long, but I refrain from thinking about it and relax into the moment. I want to feel now, stop worrying about later for once.

I forget I even asked her to sing but she moves her lips to level with my ear, making up verses from random words that somehow end up making sense to me, and I find it hard to listen to her when all my brain wants to do is concentrate on the feeling of her hot breath against my skin, to pull her closer and envelope her from all the darkness in the world. I need her to know my thoughts. I just can't voice them. I try to shuffle my body around to lay on my side and face her completely, and I'm thankful she can't see the wincing, the pain written all across my face. Using the arm I'm leaning on to shield my wound, I use my other to reach out and hold her cheek in my hand; her singing falters as I pull her as close as I can, foreheads touching, giving her speeches of my emotions through the contact. Her reading my mind somehow. I can feel she understands it all now.

If I tried to say it out loud I'd mess it up, but I can feel that she knows. All my hopes and dreams and fantasies of running away from everyone and everything simply to be with her. That I'd stop time if I could and just stay encased in a moment together for eternity simply to be with each other. That she's honestly my beloved darling angel and I don't know what I'd do without her. God, the ridiculous things I'd do; fly to space and pluck the moon from the sky just to make her smile, uppercut the damn ozone layer if I had to. That I love her. What the hell even is this system? I can't be with her because one person with the same name has done something, and now I'm to be branded as the same? Fuck my name.

Before I even know it, the feeling of her eyelashes fluttering against my face is bringing me back to reality and out of my thoughts; I can see she's close to falling asleep. I bring my lips to hers slowly as a final goodnight, but I hadn't realised I'd forgotten the feeling and I want to hold on so badly, but I let her slip into her sleep. Hell, how did I even forget how soft she feels against me, how comforting her breath is. How inebriating every touch is. Honestly. An angel.

In the midst of her I'd put my pain to the back of my mind, taking her in and appreciating the feeling of having her next to me; but it all comes hurtling back as soon as our lips disconnect. I decide whether to try getting up myself before realising that would be stupid if I didn't have a deathwish. I take one last glance at her before giving in to sleep. There's nothing left to do now. Just to hope and wait.

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Little Christmas present filler chapter in Dan's POV. <3

Also: literally this whole book has been written from like 12-5am bouts of sleep-deprived random inspiration, so there's probably a lot of grammar/spelling mistakes and I'm v sorry for that