Spencer's POV
I board the plane early again and head to the bathroom before anyone else arrives
I glance at myself in the mirror and break down in sobs.
"Your weak boy"
"Tell me who dies, and choose one to live"
"ME DAMIT, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOOSE ME" I yell into the mirror
Grabbing the Dilaudid quickly entering the needle in the crook of my arm. I look at all the holes I have and roll my sleeve down in disgust. I hate myself. I wash my face and head out seeing an empty plane. I sit by myself and close my eyes trying to get rid of the nagging headache I've had all day.
I wake up feeling a little better and thankful that I didn't have another nightmare like the last time. We are still on the plane and by the looks of it everyone is asleep except Morgan. I slip in the seat next to him and he takes his head phones off.
"Hey" he says shyly
"Look, I'm sorry for how I acted. I don't really know what's going on with me or maybe I do I'm just not handing things the way I should be" I whisper so no one will hear me
"It's fine. I'm not the only one you should apologize to though" Derek says
"Hotch? Oh, he's fine" I ask
"No Emily, you really hurt her feelings Reid weather you meant to or not." He mentions
"Oh, right" I whisper to myself but I know Morgan heard
"Reid, were just trying to look out for you and you keep getting angry with us." He states
"I know, I'm trying, I just don't really know how to deal with all of this. I can barely do my job anymore."
"Reid you don't have to do it alone, we're all here for you trying to help"
"You guys just want me to talk to someone"
"Would that be so bad though?"
"Yes. It means I'm crazy and I don't want to be crazy." I say
"Reid it doesn't mean you are crazy it just means you need some guidance. Talking to someone will make you feel so much better. Take it from me, I always wanted to have someone to talk to about my father's death and what my coach did to me when I was a kid. But I didn't have anyone so I bottled everything up inside and I wish I wouldn't have. You don't know how bad it will mess you up."
What if it already has messed me up?
"Thank you Morgan" I say sorrowfully embracing him
"Any time kid" he replies hugging me back.
YOU ARE READING
Spencer Reid- Dilaudid
FanficSpencer Reid struggles after being kidnapped by the one and only, Tobias Hankel. The only way he can cope with his PTSD is with Dilaudid. Find out how his team learns about his pain and suffering. Will they be able to help with his addiction? sxreid
