Rakim and I ended up texting a good majority of the night. Around two in the morning, Ryan texted me goodnight and apologized for texting me so late at night. While he was texting me goodnight, Rakim was asking me what I was wearing to bed. I instantly felt bad about texting Rakim on the side while Ryan was completely loyal to me.
As much as I try to reassure myself by telling myself that what I'm doing is okay because technically, Ryan and I aren't together, I still felt guilty. And in all honesty, I should feel guilty. That's why Annie gave me the side eye in the car.
I'm not exactly sure what attracts me to Rakim. Him and Ryan are two completely different people. Ryan has a rich caramel tone to his skin, he's scruffy, he's somewhat buff, has curly hair and bright pink lips. Rakim has deep chocolate toned skin, he's clean shaven, muscular but not built like Ryan and, he has two french braids that seemed to always be covered by a backwards snap back. He has the nicest teeth though, so bright and white. They look even better when he has his grill on.
Rakim just has this bad boy sex appeal, which is hard to resist. Every girl is attracted to the bad boy, we can't help it. Ryan was kind of a bad boy too. He's originally from Harlem, which is a pretty rough place to grow up in. He and his childhood best friend used to hang around some guys in the neighborhood that would gang bang. They would drink, smoke, party and deal. Ryan in particular, liked to party and drink. A lot. He would deal xans from time to time, whenever he needed money. Ryan also played ball for his high school. And he was pretty good at it too, so good that he got a lot of attention from colleges around the nation.
There was a party that Ryan and his buddy went to and they were asked by the gang they hung out with the deliever some "goodies" for the party. The goodies included mushrooms, xans, ecstasy, weed, you name it. Two girls and boy ended up overdosing on the ecstasy and the police were able to track the drugs back to Ryan and the friend. Ryan got an alibi and blamed the whole thing on his friend. The friend ended up in juvy, while Ryan got a full ride scholarship to NYU for basketball.
I remember him telling me that his friend was extremely bitter about the situation and vowed that he would get back at Ryan for what he did to him, but that ordeal took place during his sophomore year of high school and we're now in our junior year of college so it's been nearly five years and nothing yet so Ryan isn't worried. I just can't remember the friends name...
Regardless of how bad Ryan used to be, him and Rakim are different people and my attraction to Rakim seriously contradicts my attraction to Ryan. Ugh, this is giving me a headache, I'm calling it a night.
I text both Ryan and Rakim goodnight. Ryan doesn't reply while Rakim replies with, goodnight babygirl. I smirk and put away my phone, slipping into a slumber. Ryan doesn't call me baby girl.
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I wake up at 10, contemplating on if I should try and get ready for the noon service at the local church. I need to wash away the sins of the borderline adultery I've committed against Ryan, but at the same time I'm still going to spend the evening with my male mistress later on so I decide against it and choose to get donuts from the donut store next to the church and sit home and binge watch Law and Order SVU.
Both Ryan and Rakim text me throughout my marathon. They both send good morning texts and ask about my sleep. I guess they aren't polar opposites after all.
Ryan asks me about my plans for the day and I tell him that I'm hanging out with a friend.
Annie?
