words for when the sky is blue

12. i-love-you's

"please don't speak. it's not that i don't like it when you talk, it's just- if you start talking i'm scared i won't be able to do this. it's important that i do this. i'm scared to say what i have to say, but i think i'm more scared not to. i look at you and i can barely keep it in and it's eating me alive so i'm going to say it but don't move and don't speak. okay. i'm in love with you. i'm in love with you and i've never been in love before but i'm in love with you. i know that's hard to hear but maybe some of the best things are. it's selfish to tell you this. i know that i'm being selfish. it puts you in a hard place but all i could think about was telling you i'm in love with you, so here it is. but there's a catch. i'm smart enough to know that you're in love with someone else. i know that and as much as i want you i get that you're in love with someone who's not me. i mean, who would be in love with me? i'm not exactly a catch. but you are. you are and that's why i can't be selfish with you. there's another girl who i care about almost as much as you and i know that she loves you almost as much as i do and she wants the whole shebang. she wants the new york auditions and small dogs and studio apartments with you and i don't know what i want other than you. so there it is. i've loved you since i first saw your hair and your eyelashes coated in rain and you looked blue and i fell in love. you've always been water and i've always been fire and maybe we'd destroy each other in the end but at least we'd have something because the other girl is oil and oil and water will never mix. i know i'm rambling and maybe this doesn't even make any sense and it's sappy and dumb so here's what i've been trying to say. i'm in love with you but you love someone else and someone else loves you and it's some kind of messed up game of telephone and unless right now you say that you love me i'm taking myself out of the game. i think i'll always be in love with you and it'll always hurt when you don't love me back but maybe with time it'll hurt less. maybe someday it won't hurt at all. listen, i'll always want to date you. but i get now how out of my league you are. someday maybe that'll be okay but today isn't that day. i'm in love with you and in a perfect world that wouldn't be a problem."