This is a diary of a shut-in, awkward and emotional girl whose whole life got broken down to pieces due to a past love that keeps haunting her.
She lived her life not being able to express her feelings... unable to find solutions and answers to the...
I'm so fucking sad today. I am even crying right now.
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I promised myself that I'll try to avoid being sad, overly emotional and negative, but I don't know why life is s bitch to me. I feel like I am living a lie all this time.
I'm so fucking hurt!
I don't know what I should do nor if there is anything I can even do to make things better. What did I even do to deserve all of this? I am in so much pain right now but no one really cares - no one cares, no one at all.
The one who saved me is also the only one who can put me back in that black hole and not feel a thing - as if nothing happened in the first place.
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It didn't even gave me much time to prepare at all. I wasn't even able to protect myself... I don't think I ever did anything to him that would warrant him to give me this kind of treatment. I don't know what happened and when did it start being this way, but he made me feel so worthless. He made me feel like I'm some sort of trash.
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It made me doubt myself. It made me wonder if there is anything out there that I deserve in the first place. After all these years, this is the only thing I get to receive from him... this kind of treatment, this kind of bullshit.
Maybe it's all my fault in the first place. I gave him too much power to control my life.
There is no one to blame but myself, but still... this is just so unfair. It made me wondered if his heart is even made of stone - does he even have any conscience at all?
