If I Stay

Ika-Dalawampu't isang Kabanata

It was already 11PM pero nandito parin ako. Ace and Terrence is calling me for the nth time already. Ayaw ko pang umuwi. Dito muna ako. It was already 2AM ng maisipan kong umuwi. I'm sure they are all asleep now.

Dumerecho ako sa guest room at doon ako nagpasyang matulog. I can't see Terrence looking like this. Nahiga na ako sa kama matapos kong maligo at magbihis. The room was dark. But then, I felt an arm wrapping around my waist.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang?" Tanong niya. I can feel his breath on my neck.

"Why are you here? Bakit wala ka sa kwarto." Tanong ko.

"The maids had told me you've arrived and you went straight here. Now, its my turn. Bakit ngayon ka lang?" Tanong niya saakin muli.

"I spent my time... Thinking..." Sagot ko.

His arms had tightened its grip and pulled me closer to him.

"Thingking about what?" Tanong niya  saakin.

"About everything." Sagot ko.

"Ayeza," He called my name.

"Hmmm?"

"We've been separated for years. I won't let that happen again. Not now, not ever. Those years had been hell to me. And no, hindi ko na hahayaan ulit yun. You and Ace is my life now." Sabi niya saakin.

Ipinikit ko ang mata ko. Refusing to answer him. And then I suddenly remembered the girl that talked to me earlier.

"Kung mahal mo, wag mong iwanan. Wag mong saktan. Hindi mo winawasak ang taong mahal mo."

Huminga ako ng malalim at humarap kay Terrence.

"Listen to me, stop thinking about me leaving. Hindi na ulit. I fucking swear, Terrence. Hinding hindi na ulit ako aalis. Dito nalang ako sayo." Sabi ko at hinalikan ko siya. Ngumiti siya saakin at natulog na kami. Let's forget about tha fucking kiss, Ayeza.

"Where the hell are we going again?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko kay Terrence.

"Baguio." I sarcastically laughed.

"Wow ah! Kung maka 'Baguio' ka akala mo kapit bahay lang natin yun ah! Ang layo kaya!" Sabi ko.

Pupunta kami ng Baguio City para kausapin si Mr. Reymundo. Something business related. At eto, ngayon lang sinabi ng walanghiyang ito na aalis kami. So ayun, eto kami ngayon sa rooftop ng building at pasakay na sa chopper.

Bumaba kami sa isang rest house habang iniintay kami ng mag-asawa na I think is around 50s.

"Welcome, Terrence!" Sabi nung lalaki at niyakap si Terrence in a manly way.

Sa tingin ko siya si Mr. Reymundo.

"Mind introducing us this pretty lady?" Tanong nung babae.

"Madame Hilda, this is my wife. Ayeza Saaverda." Sabi ni Terrence. Ngumiti saakin ang babae but shock is registered to Mr. Reymundo's face.

"What? Akala ko ba, you and Marga-- never mind, come in, come in!" Hindi natuloy ang sasabihin ni Mr. Reymundo ng kurutin siya ni Madame Hilda.

They talked about a lot of business shits. Wala akong maintindihan. May mga stock chu chu whatever silang pinag-uusapan. Si Madame Hilda naman, busy sa pagpreprepare ng snacks so I decided to join her.

"Ako na po." Sabi ko kay Madame Hilda nang bubuhatin niya ang tray. Ngumiti siya at hinayaan ako. Idinala namin kila Terrence ang meryenda.

"Excuse me, can I ask you a favor?" Tanong ni Madame Hilda saakin.

"Yes Ma'am." Sabi ko.

"Could you please get the cookies I baked from the oven? I'm sorry for asking you this favor." Sabi ni Madame Hilda.

"No, Madame. Its fine." Sabi ko.

Pumunta ako sa kusina at kinuha ang cookies. Inilagay ko iyon sa isang lalagyan at pumunta na sa sala kung saan nag-uusap-usap sila.

"I still think Marga is the best for you. She's beautiful, kind, smart, and she's successful. Kilala na si Marga sa Asia." I felt hurt when I heard Mr. Reymundo say that.

Ngumiti lang si Terrence sa kanila. It's like he's trying to keep himself from answering.

"You silly old man! I was nothing when you met me! I'm not even an architect like her when you met me! Stop saying things or advises that you can't apply to yourself." Sabi ni Madame Hilda. Tumuloy na ako sa paglakad at ibinaba ang cookies.

"Here are the cookies Madame. Excuse me." Sabi ko at lumabas ng bahay. Nagpunta ako sa garden at nagswing.

"Deep thought?" Tanong ni Madame. Nagulat ako ng magsalita siya. She followed me?

Umupo siya sa tabi ko at nagsalita siyang muli.

"I was an orphan. Wala akong nanay, iniwan ako and ang tatay ko naman, he was killed. Wala akong natapos. High school graduate lang ako. I didn't even have a degree. But then, I melt this old hag. Si Hugo. He hired me as his secretary kahit na Highschool graduate lang ako. Minahal niya ako and minahal ko din siya. But then, like you, people told me na hindi ko siya deserve, wala akong kwenta and so on. They can say that. What benefit can a highschool graduate give to a magna cumlaude graduate of engineering? Wala diba? I was worthless. But I never let that take us down. Kasi may isa akong panama. I can love him more than anyone can. At ako lang ang may kaya non, kasi ako ang mahal niya. So whenever I hear someone tell me I don't deserve Hugo, I simply smile and tell them, go and ask my husband if that's true. And I am confident that he would say its not. Kaya never feel inferior okay? No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Sabi niya at niyakap ako.

"Feeling better?" Nagulat ako nang sumulpot si Terrence sa kasagsagan ng pag-iyak ko.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya.

"You're my wife, Ayeza. And that's something that no one can be except you. What's bad for having an architect for a wife? What's bad for not having someone famous for a wife? I'm fine to marry anyone as long as its you." Sabi niya. Niyakap niya ako and I started crying again. God, what on earth did I do to deserve this husband?

"Now I know why Mr. Saaverda is quite different today. He smiles a lot and he even talked about his love life. I'll be your adviser Saaverda. I give you my word. Call me anytime you need help." Sabi ni Mr. Reymundo. "And another thing, just call me Tito Hugo." Sabi niya at pumasok na silang mag-asawa sa mansyon nila.