As life goes on, may mga bagay na darating at mawawala sa buhay ng isang tao. That's how life is supposed to go. Kung minsan, nagiging selfish tayo na kahit na hindi para saatin, we stubbornly keep on coming back. And that's our case. Kami ni Terrence. Why can't I read all the signs? Bakit hindi ko makita na hindi kami para sa isa't isa? Why can't I see that fate keeps on pushing us apart?
"Ano meron?" Biglang tanong ni Terrence.
"Ha?" Naguguluhang tanong ko.
"Why are you looking like that? May iniisp ka ba?" He asked.
Nandito ako sa kwarto niya ngayon. Specifically sa kama niya, sa bisig niya.
"Wala. Wag kang OA, Terrence." Sabi ko.
"Talaga lang ha?" Sabi niya at niyakap na ulit ako
Nanonood kami ng movie at siya lang ang nakakarelate and all I am hearing is guns. Jusko.
I got bored so I turned off the TV and I faced him. I wish I could go on top of him pero imposible kasi may bola ako sa tiyan.
"W-what's wrong?" He asked me.
"You could remember whatever I do right now, right?" I asked.
"Yes." He chuckled.
"Then, please don't forget this." I said as I put my lips on his. Tears started streaming from my eyes.
"I am the only one who can kiss you like this."
I touched his face. I touched the man I could never have.
"I am the only one who can touch you like this."
I hugged him tight.
"I am the only one who can hold you like this."
I faced him again. I faced my husband. I faced my love. I faced my Terrence Saaverda. I faced my almost. My almost perfect companion, my almost perfect love story, my almost forever. I faced him. I faced my life.
As I was looking in his eyes tears couldn't stop flowing. He's looking at me with a question in his eye pero wala siyang imik.
"Ako lang Terrence. I am the only one who can love you like this."
"I want you to look at me and remember me like this. I am Ayeza and I am your one that got away." Sabi ko at niyakap ko siya ulit. If this is the last time I can hold him like this, I won't be sad. Kasi bakas sa buong katawan ko, bakas sa buong kaluluwa ko ang tatak ni Terrence. No matter where I am, nararamdaman ko. Deep inside me, he's there.
"You sound like you're dying." Sabi niya saakin. I laughed.
I'm already dying seeing you like this. Can't remember anything. Can't remember me, can't remember us.
"Alam mo ba, sabi mo noon sakin, you hate people who leaves without saying goodbye?" Sabi ko. He looked at me with a questioning look.
"Oh. Silly me. Syempre di mo maaalala. But you told me that before. Kaya ako nagsasalita ng ganito. Life is surprising. Malay mo, paggising mo bukas, wala na ako sa tabi mo." Sabi ko sa kaniya.
"But you will be here, right?" Sabi niya. I smiled as I closed my eyes.
No.
"Good night dear wife. I'm sorry if I can't remember you. Sorry kung wala akong maalala. I'm really really sorry wife. I want to remember you. But don't worry. I won't forget whatever is happening right now. And if ever... If ever I can't have my memory back anymore, then we'll make new ones. Gagawa tayo ng bago. So you wouldn't have to worry anymore. I love you wife. I am certain of that. I can feel it. My mind doesn't remember you, but my heart weirdly does." And then he held me tight.
It was two in the morning when I woke up. I stood up and wrote a note. I changed my clothes and packed my things. After packing, I went back to our room and kissed Terrence's head.
"I love you." I whispered.
And then I closed the door. Tears started to fall again. Why does he make leaving so hard?
I went downstairs and went out of the house. I'm surely going to miss this house. I'm going to miss the memories in this house.
Ailee was waiting for me outside. He was with His boyfriend and my son. Natutulog si Ailee sa loob ng sasakyan habang nakasandal sa labas si Bryan.
"He's my friend and he'll probably be hurt sa ginawa mo, but it's better this way, right? Kung tama ito Ayeza, then I'm on your side." He said and pulled me on a hug. I badly needed it.
"Ang sakit Bry. Ang sakit palang iwan ng tao na sobra mong mahal. It hurts more than before." Sabi ko at patuloy na humagulgol.
"Tara na. Ihahatid ko na kayo." He said when I calmed down. Umupo ako sa harap dahil tulog si Ailee at Ace sa likod.
"Sure ka na ba?" Tanong ni Bry.
"Oo. I'd rather be the one to be hurt. He suffered too much already. Ang sakit. Whenever I say something that triggers his memory, sobrang sumasakit yung ulo niya. And I can't bear seeing that. I hate it so much. So much that it hurts." Sabi ko at isinandal ang ulo ko ng tuluyan.
I woke up because someone was shaking me.
"Nandito na tayo. Beh!" I opened my eyes and saw Ailee. Nasa airport na pala kami. Ibinaba ni Bry ang luggage ko habang si Ace ay nagkukusot ng mata habang nakahawak sa damit ni Ailee.
Tumayo na ako at bumaba mula sa sasakyan. Niyakap ako ni Ailee.
"Be careful okay." Sabi ni Ailee.
"Oo. Ikaw din." Sabi ko.
"Hay! Bakit ba ako ang laging kasabwat mo sa pagtakas mo?" Sabi niya at kumalas sa yakap. Natawa nalang kaming dalawa. Niyakap din ako ni Bry.
"Take care. Alagaan mo yung poging inaanak ko." Sabi nito at kumalas na din sa yakap.
I smiled and took my luggage. Then I went inside. I waved at them when I finally entered.
There's no backing down now. USA, I'm going back.
