Fading Out

Chapter 9

Daisy’s POV

"No, they didn't. It was I who caught the murderer. But to understand what I mean and how it happened, I must continue from where I was interrupted. Don't interrupt me again.” I waited for his nod before starting again, knowing all too well that he will interrupt me again. The memories consumed everything around me and I was once again back on the ill-fated night of April 18, 1917.

“The last night of my life was also haunted by the most troubling nightmares I ever had. In my dreams, I roamed across the ruined halls of my house. The entire place was severe damaged and I could find no clue of anyone else living in the place. Fear held a tight grip on me as I walked around the place, calling out for my father. There had been no response.

Fear is a powerful thing. When it has just the right grip, it can give some extra strength to the person. I was fuelled by this extra power as I began to run when he didn’t appear. I checked every room, except mine, as the panic began to consume me. Tears now fell freely as I screamed for him. And then my feet began to walk on their own will and I was brought to the entrance of my own room. A part of me considered searching my own room foolish. After all, this is where I remembered to have started searching and surely he would have heard my screams. Still, I had no control over my body as my hands pushed the door wide open. And there he was. Dressed in his suit and trousers with his back to me, he seemed to be taking deep breaths.

With relief, I began to walk towards him and draw his attention to me but my words died on my tongue when I saw that he wasn’t taking deep breaths but crying. And on the bed, I slept in my nightgown with my throat slit open. In shock, my eyes had slid open from the sleep just in time for the murderer to slice my neck with the Chef Mason’s knife. The person was in black cloak and ran as soon as the deed was done. I couldn’t concentrate on the person anyhow as I felt my life ebb away as the cut bled all my blood. In seconds, I was dead.

Death is a unique experience. Everyone fears it because it doesn’t come alone. Death brings judgement on your existence. Every mistake – no matter how small, every crime – no matter how petty, every sin is judged and you are forced to bear its punishment. It sends its reapers to collect the souls. Mine was a faceless boy of my age, dressed in what would have been barbaric for the society. Raw animal hides covered him from neck to toe. He was bald, which normally one could ignore, but in search of an identifying trait, it was a fear-inducing one. And when he talked, he spoke in my mind. His voice was old and his speech slow, as if he had been doing this for a long time and he now grew tired. “Come on now, Daisy McCain. It is time you left this realm.”

There are few things I feared in life. In death, there was nothing I dreaded more than losing those I cared for. Forgoing all dignity, I fell at his feet and begged to stay… to be with my family.  He wasn’t moved. He warned me that if I stayed, I won’t get a chance at redemption. I would simply fade out. No rebirth, no fresh start, nothing.

There was a long moment when I doubted whether I could leave them. But fate wasn’t done with me, it seems, because dawn was about to break and my father, being an early bird, loved to wake up early and had promised to rouse me early as well. His scream of shock and pain was my deciding factor and I retreated, refusing to go with him. I told him to go back wherever he came from because I wasn’t leaving them alone. With that I turned away from him and began trying to make my father realize I was still here. He wasn’t done with me though.

“You have made your choice and I see that it is your final one. You shall have what you desire so much but know that you will regret this choice. You shall haunt this realm as long as your soul can survive on this realm without a host.” He had spoken and I had turned towards him to thank him for this gift when he continued while walking towards my dressing table. “In death, people have to forgo the things they bond with, let go of mortal ties. You have refused to do so and I am afraid you must be punished. A soul is immortal but even death isn’t cruel enough to have you stuck on this realm forever. You shall fade away in a short while. A century and a half is all you shall have. And then there would be nothing for you. No paradise. No hell. No rebirth. No existence. This shall be the price for your unwillingness to let go of your mortal ties. Enjoy your end, Daisy McCain.” With that, he had gone away.