Fading Out

Chapter 13

The silence is deafening while Nick overcomes his shock. If I weren't already dead, I am sure that I would have been crying. Is this how you treat one who wins your heart Daisy? I ask myself. And sadly, the answer is still the same no matter how many times I ask. Yes, this is exactly how you treat someone who wins your heart. You offer them a chance at what they truly desire, even if it comes at a cost of losing them. My mind is so torn in this dilemma that it cannot find a reason to either agree or disagree.

"This was a game?" He questions and every candle of hope flickers out. I focus back on his face and the tears that flow down only drive the guilt deeper. His voice is shocked and broken. His face shows his devastation. "Tell me, Daisy," He speaks again in broken whispers, "was it all just a game to you?" There is a fear that rests in soul of all who has ever lived, a fear of losing someone you love. The terror that settles within me is a much deeper and darker one: Of driving someone you love away. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. What can you say Daisy that offers the possibility of making this right? You know that it would break you if he had done that to you. And so now, you must bear his accusations for you know that you are guilty of them. Still, seeing him still wait for response, I shake my head.

"Then WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" He shouts and I flinch instinctively. I would have been fine with him shouting even more. I would have accepted him threatening me. But when he collapses, I cannot ignore how deeply I just hurt him. "I loved you." He mumbles and I gasp in pain at the past tense. "I cared for you. I even laid my heart for you. I thought that you felt the same…" then he looked up at me and I flinched at the animosity I see in his eyes, "but you didn't, did you? It was all a game. Locking me in, becoming a friend, telling me your story. And I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I began to care for you. I took you out on a 'pretend-date' as Samuel even though for me, it was only Nick and Daisy. Tell me, was it Nick and Daisy for you too or was it Samuel and Daisy for you?"

The hurt that penetrates at his accusations make me take a step back while I forcibly put a hand on my own hand from interrupting him. If there's any hope… I cut that thought out immediately. I cannot let that thought finish if I need to make it through this. "ANSWER ME!" He screams even as he sobs and I finally remove my hand. It is wet and sticky and I finally remember that I actually am in a mortal form and so can indeed cry.

"No, tonight was only Nick and Daisy." I answer him and then plead. "Please Nick, listen to me…"

He quickly cuts me off. "Listen to you? LISTEN TO YOU?" He shouts as he finally begins to stand up from the stairs. "All I have been doing since I met you is listen to you. And see what it got me. If this is how you were back then, then I'm glad th-" His voice cuts off and I realize that I slapped him to stop him from finishing that thought.

And now, all hope is completely extinguished within me. And all I can summon up is anger. Anger for treating as if I am not hurt right now. Anger at him even daring to try to drag my past into this. Anger at him for breaking my heart. "Don't you dare finish that sentence! You have no right to judge my past self like that. I am done feeling guilty for you Nick Demming Peters.

Tell me, was it not you who came to steal my engagement ring from my house while I was here? Was it not you who lied to me, playing with my emotions first? Tell me, was it not you?" I shout out at him in anger and see his face harden into a mask of anger.

"Is that what all this was about? You played all this game just because I played with your feelings? I apologized Daisy. I apologized! Not once, not twice but several times I apologized. It is not my fault that I look exactly like your dead soldier love. I didn't choose this face to be born with. What I did was a mistake I sought to correct. But you?" He glares as if his 'laser vision' would burn me to the ground if he focuses on me long enough.