Stability

1

How can you love me ? Tell me you hate me

I watched as he got dressed from my bed , wrapped in my purple satin sheets mixed with our sweat and love making , my heart pounding getting a familiar feeling of loneliness , tears stuck in my throat only silence laced between us

Its happening again .....

"I'm never gon see you again am I?" I asked voice shaking with every word I spoke

He stopped what he was doing and looked me in the eyes , I already knew the answer I knew he just came to get what he wanted never to return again he looked me straight in my face and lied .... What could I do ?

"Yeah... I'll hit you up"

Stuffing his foot in his all black timberland boot he grabbed his keys of my dresser that sat in the corner of my room . walking to the door taking my self-esteem with him he opened it , my vision clouded not wanting him to see my tears I turned my head and faced my dark purple walls

"Ard I'm out"

Before I could respond the door slammed making me jump and leaving me to face reality

No one could love me

How could he leave after we just finished making sweet love ? Once again I let someone into my temple only for them to visit once and never look back , no phone call , no text , no letter

Nothing

I glanced at the clock it read 11:30pm , my mom would be home any mintue now , I was use to being home alone my mom always worked late shifts at the hospital , she worked hard for us and I appreciate it but I miss her

Getting up out of my bed of sorrow I took the sheets off my bed throwing them in the washer grabbing another pair of purple satin sheets and made my bed

My whole room consisted of shades of purple , it was something about this color that draws me in it's mysterious to me and could actually be the girl version of black , Dark and Sexy

After I made my bed I took my shower and made a sandwich , the house was silent and Blank ..... Story of my life

I live in the city of brotherly Love the streets never sleeps on the north side living right on 23rd and diamond action is what you get . I don't have friends I don't have a social life except for my many encounters with boys I thought I could trust and say they were the one

But time after time again they prove me wrong after a night full of fun I'm left here at the table eating a buffulo chicken sandwich when I should be rapped in their arms feeling safe and sercured and Loved

I long for that feeling