For everyone whose love was unsaid, unheard and unrequited, whose love was strong but heart was not, those whose thorn in the heart turned into a deadly knife. Receive my respects for your dying soul, dying heart, dying love and dying self. No regrets.
~*~
I swore to myself to find a guy who will be willing to go through heaven and hell with me, that I will have him in the right time, at the right place. And keep him, forever.
They say "expect the unexpected" and so, you came.
You made me wrecked the promised I told myself. You made me destroy my sturdy walls and surrender to you. You were so intimidating, so high, and unreachable, but you came to me. You make me wonder if I really deserve you, and the answer I give to myself has always been no.
No, you don't deserve someone like me. I am someone who was still healing from the craters brought by my depression. I don't think you deserve someone who's broken, unfixed, and imperfect.
No, you don't deserve someone like me. I am someone who has a bad and deadly history. I don't think you deserve someone who's too devastated.
No, you don't deserve someone like me. I am someone whose soul and body was tainted by her past. I don't think you deserve someone who's too dirty.
No, you don't deserve someone like me. I am someone whose life was wrecked. I don't think you deserve someone who would only bring you disaster.
No, you don't deserve someone like me. I am a shit incarnated; I won't ever be fit for you.
You know it all, why I can't have someone as precious as you, someone whose future has already been legibly written in the book of better fates. You are too surreal for me and honestly, I'm too unworthy.
I was thankful to have you, but then you might have realized that I don't deserve you.
So yeah, I guess I'll go now. In as much as I want to stay with you, I know I can't. You don't want me to stay, right? I'll take the blame, because in the first place, you shouldn't have been mine.
You're free. I love you.
