I was nothing but a lonely man. Happy on the outside, almost dying on the inside. Until I met the happiness that I thought would never come, until I met you.
The thought of being in love is a good feeling. The feeling of being loved is heavenly. But being loved back by someone you had always cherished was extremely beyond what words could express.
I loved you with all I've got.
You loved me in return.
I accepted your flaws.
You accepted mine too.
I was so addicted to the butterflies you give me every time that I look at you. And more of it when you look back and smile and melt my damn heart.
I always thought that everything has a purpose for happening.
And maybe, my purpose was loving you and yours was loving me.
We do not believe that people are necessarily broken and someone will fix them. We believe that a person who loves an incomplete and broken person shall accept him as he is.
Loving is not meant to complete the incomplete; it was supposed to accept their incompleteness completely.
So regardless of all the flaws and imperfection, we loved each other.
I was the happiest man when my mom told me that Aira was the daughter she wished for.
We are both at bliss that you came in my life, in our life. At that time, I knew, you're the one.
Pero kagaya nga ng sabi nila, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon, masaya ka.
In the shortest time of having you, I found out you were cheating.
Ang cliché, putangina, pero hindi cliché yung sakit. It's contagious and deadly.
Di ko lubos inakala na gagawin mo sakin yun. We're fucking happy about everything we had and never had together. Kaya bakit naghanap ka pa ng iba?
Ano bang kulang sakin? What the fuck is fucking wrong with us that made you cheat?
"Am I boring you? Did I annoy you again? What the hell did I do wrong?" I remembered asking you.
"You didn't do anything wrong." Sagot mo ng hindi tumitingin sa mga mata ko.
"Then ano?! Anong ginawa ko? Bakit naghanap ka ng iba? Bakit?!" I broke my voice and let the tears fall. Let it fall down just like how I fell and broke. Tangina!
"Nothing's wrong. You.. yo.. you are just not enough."
Hindi pa ako sapat para sa sayo. I wanna laugh at the thought, but I do not have the energy to do so. I'm a pathetic bastard.
Why did I let you do this to me? Why did I let you break me? Hurt me? Fuck that!
The butterflies that used to tickle and please me turn to rage.
But I just can't make myself mad at you, I loved you so much, trusted you so much and valued you so much with all that I can give.
The intensity of the love we share is always winning over my will of hating you.
I broke up with you.
Everything kills me.
The break up. The feelings. Your cheating. The memories.
But the thing that had always killed me was the thought of not being able to be enough.
I wasn't fucking enough for you so you looked for another.
I wasn't fucking enough so you fucking cheated on me.
I wasn't fucking enough so you left me.
Was it my fault? Or was it yours? Kasi hindi ka nakuntento.
I hate you for not being contented with me.
But I hate myself more for not being good enough.
Not good enough to make you stay.
Ha! Everything has a purpose; I was wrong for thinking that your purpose was to love me. You came into my life to break me. And yes, you succeeded.
~
