She was never mine although I always wanted to own her. I grew up in a family of a wealthy status. I get what I want, I buy most of them. I had lived a life thinking that everything has a price and everything can be paid.
That might be true, but someone as precious as you will never be tagged to a price and sold.
You're priceless.
A limited edition.
You are that something I'll never have because you're not equivalent to any price.
You're not a freaking merchandise.
You are not for sale.
I cannot pay anyone to chase you and entitle you mine. Damn! You make me crazy. You make me feel hopeless and helpless. I had never wanted anything as bad as I want you.
I thought habang buhay na akong titingin lang sa kagandahan mo. But I was wrong when we became friends in High School.
You taught me how to manage my money and be simple. Ang laki ng ipon ko sa wallet because you told me it's better to eat on somewhere cheap kesa maglagas nalang ng pera basta basta.
You really are one of a kind. You are simple as you are but that doesn't make you anything less than precious.
The more that I know you,
The more that I see you smile,
The more that I hear you laugh,
The more that I touch you is the more that I fall.
The sensation you brought me was irresistible, uncontainable and addicting.
But as I know that you can never be mine, I continue to entertain the feeling. The chills you gave me that crawl to my spine, and the love I thought it was.
You are a pleasurable suicide.
Hindi ko malalaman kung may pag-asa bang mahalin mo ko kung hindi ko sasabihin sayo, at patuloy kong itatago to. So I decided to kick my guts and confess.
But the night I thought would be a good night became a nightmare. It was a nightmare and heartbreak mixed up for the sole purpose of breaking me, unconsciously.
"This is crazy, and spontaneous and really overwhelming. But, would you let me be in love with your bestfriend? Ghad! He makes me feel like a damn retard and I'm loving him for that."
You were secretly in love with my bestfriend.
You were crying on the telephone saying how crazy he makes you feel like, just like how crazy I've become because of you.
The whole talk was about you and him. I didn't dare confessing anymore, you sounded happy when we talked about Barry. I do not have the guts to break your happiness.
Hindi ko makakaya na masaktan ka pag nalaman mong mahal kita. Kasi pipili ka, so I voluntarily accepted defeat.
I wouldn't dare trying kasi masisira ang kaligayahan mo.
I wouldn't care hurting if you were happy in return.
I wouldn't fucking care of being defeated because it was you who won against me.
You were worth all the pain and the hurt and the sacrifice.
I just wish I had that one chance of telling you I love you. That one chance where nothing will change, nothing will be destroyed. But that won't fucking happen.
In this case, it was all me and this bottle of beer that's gonna take charge.
It won't take long til I explode, til I break, til I become destroyed because of loving you without even giving you the idea of it.
It seems funny that I almost have everything except for the only one I ever wanted the most
