Book One: Love Is Legal [CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN]

Chapter 5- Identity? [EDITTED]

WELL, TODAY IS JUST ABOUT AS NORMAL AS MY ENTIRE WEEK HAS BEEN- if normal is the right word to call it. It is dreary and dark outside on this chilly Thursday night. On a night like this, you could almost forget that spring was hurriedly approaching. Every single day this week was identical to the last day before it. I sat at the same lunch table, I talked to the same people, and Jacob would show up in my bedroom. All of it is a dream, a blissful dream. I don’t want to fall off of Cloud Nine.

I could hear my parents bickering about something in their bedroom, a muffled sound from a long ways away. I focus on their voices and drift off into sleep.

*          *          *

The next day is bright and sunny in contrast to the lifeless showers of yesterday. It was the perfect day for the almost-beginning of spring. I am in the library of my high school, one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen in person. Our school used to be a Catholic school, but about ten years back, they renovated the entire school to fit the modern needs of a public school. The library was the only room they left untouched. Light dances through the striking stained-glass windows onto the oak wood paneled walls.

Adam Massie is sitting down across the room, staring at me calmly. I look down at the gigantic textbook in front of my face and pretend to study it. Adam is an openly-gay senior class man, and in fact, he’s the only openly-LGBT student in the entire school. His features are oddly similar to Jake’s. Their facial features are angular, and he has the same remarkable shade of blue eyes. Adam’s hair is brown though, and his jaw is a bit less prominent. From what I’ve gathered about his personality, he is just as masculine as Jacob is as well. I have only briefly talked to him a scarce around of times, and it was mostly small talk.

There is one thing I know for sure; he makes me feel very inferior about myself.

“Pst.”

I look up, and I see him directing me towards him. I check behind my back, to make sure there wasn’t anyone else he could be pointing to.  Great.

"Sit down. We need to talk." he says to me calmly and quietly. I raise my eyebrows at his abrupt command as I sit down.

“What could you possibly want to talk to me about?" I ask in response.

"I know that you’re gay." he says after checking the space around him, searching for any possible eavesdroppers. I open my mouth to protest and then hastily close it. The reason why I feel inferior to him is because of his overwhelming confidence. If I want to be anything like him, I have to be just as confident.

"Okay. What are you trying to get at?" I stutter a bit.

"I just wanted to give you a bit of advice."

"What kind of advice?"

"I notice the way you stare at Jacob Coleman- the way you talk to him. I wanted to tell you that you shouldn’t get your hopes up. He’s great guy, but he's straight, Eric. That’s going to hurt you in the long run if you don't realize that now."

"Yeah, I’m not blind.” I say, letting him know that I am clearly insulted. “How does that demean any of my chances with him? You can’t stop the currents of the ocean from constantly changing.”

“What makes you think he’s interested in you?” His tone of voice is a bit more friendlier now, trying to ease out the tension.

“Have you gotten to know his personality intellectually? Everything about him- the way he acts around me- just seems off. . . His intention is not just a friendship, or it doesn’t feel that way.”