The End Of You And Me | BOOK 1 (Completed) & 2 (Currently Writing)

TA | 01.5. I'll Be Seeing You

Harry's POV

November 2017

They say that sometimes, you have to accept that some people's part in your story is over.

But what if I don't want it to be over? What if I don't ever want it to be over between us?

It's funny how the realization of how much you want someone in your life hits you hard just when you've screwed up big time and you've burned the only bridge connecting you two to the ground.

It's even funnier when you're at a pub in Paris, drinking whiskey just because you feel like it after a long day of interviews and meetings, and then out of nowhere, you hear a very familiar laugh.

A laugh that's suddenly above all the noise surrounding you. It stops you in your tracks and even if you're pretty sure you're a little tipsy, it sobers you up and you become so aware of everything.

I held the glass tightly in my hands. I was hesitant to glance at the group of girls a few feet away from me because what if I turn and see her? Will I be able to look away like I did four years ago? Will I end up running to her and tell her how badly I missed her and how I regret losing her over a petty argument? Or will I stare at her helplessly, hoping she'd look back at me and see in my eyes everything I wanted to say to her but never really had the courage to say?

I couldn't move. I was paralyzed by the girl's laughter. I knew deep down that it was her. Only she had the kind of laugh that made my stomach do somersaults, nerves to go crazy and stop me from breathing.

And that scared me.

It scared me to know that she was already doing well without me while I lived my life lying to everyone, including myself, that I was doing okay without her when I wasn't.

My hands were shaking and though I've drank more than I should, I decided to down the whole glass. Maybe I could find the strength to turn and finally confirm what I already knew. Taking a deep breath, I slowly turned my head and was surprised when I didn't see her. The group of girls a couple of seats away from me looked like they were having some pre-drinks before they go on their way to a girl's night out, given the feathers that were wrapped around their necks and the neon colored wigs they were sporting.

I should be glad, right? At least I wasn't going to face her right now. I knew I should be, so why do I feel much worse than before? Maybe it's because my mind was playing tricks on me.

Sighing, I looked away and turned my attention to the ice inside my glass.

"I miss you," I mumbled to myself, "Ronnie." Even saying her name hurt, which is kind of funny considering I was the one who gave up on her.

It didn't make me feel any better that I'll Be Seeing You by Jimmy Durante, a song from the last movie we watched together, started playing. A sad smile made its way to my lips as I remembered a time when we were content and happy together.

"Do you think people really love like Allie and Noah?" She sniffed as she turned to look at me. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, but she was still beyond beautiful.

"Yeah. I do," I simply said.

"Have you ever loved anyone like that? You know, loved someone so much it consumed you to the point where you know... you just know that no matter where life takes you and no matter what happens, you will always love them completely." Her voice was shaky. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand as she scooted closer to me.

I have been staring at her for God knows how long, stupefied not by her question, but by her existence. I couldn't help but wonder, how in the world did our paths cross? And how did we get to where we were? She had me in this trance that made me forget her question, not because I intended to forget. It was more because she had captured me wholly and I didn't even see it coming. She had her way of doing that to me whenever we talked. I enjoyed watching and hearing her speak. I like the way her voice cracks whenever she's talking about something she's passionate about. I like the way her eyebrows are so close to meeting in the middle whenever she gets mad or she's upset about something. I like the way her nose turns red whenever she's about to cry and she's trying her hardest not to. I like how expressive she is with her hands whenever she tells a story. Mostly, I like the way her smile reaches her eyes whenever she smiles at me, letting me know that she is genuinely happy. And not everyone is blessed to see that.

"Harry?"

I blinked rapidly before I flashed her my pearly whites. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I don't really know," I shrugged.

I haven't fully grasped the idea of loving someone that much the moment she asked me the question, but looking back, I wish I did. I wish I knew then that I love her just as much as Noah loved Allie, if not more. I wish I could've shown her that I could wait and I was going to wait for her, even if she had all the power in the world to break me apart. I wish I had the strength to love her the way she should've been loved when I still had her in my arms.

If I did, then maybe, just maybe, we'd still be underneath the same sky.