Subtle and Sweet

chap 4, confessions

Bianca's P.O.V.

Monday quickly came, and I was thankful for that. I had spent the weekend moping around and I needed a distraction.

I was still kind of aggravated at Kasey and Kaitlyn for dissing and hating on Hayden, so at lunch I plopped my lunch down next to Ashton.

"Hey, do you wanna meet me in the bathroom?" I asked quietly.

"Sure," Ashton shrugged. "I'll go first so it doesn't look like we're keeping secrets."

"Good plan," I agreed, nodding. After Ashton went to the bathroom, I followed. When I walked in, I saw my brunette friend sitting on the floor drawing a heart on her hand with a sharpie.

"Ash?" I asked softly, joining her on the floor. "Are you okay?"

"No," she sighed, slamming down the sharpie. "I hate my so called friends. Middle school sucks."

"Talk to me," I said squeezing her hand.

"I'm in love with Ryan Parker," Ashton sighed. "You know, the blonde boy in our class?" I nodded. "Well, there's a problem. CJ also likes him."

I grimaced. Ashton and I were in the exact same situation. She brought her fists down on the bathroom tile and her breath hitched as tears steamed down her cheeks.

I couldn't help it. Seeing Ashton like this set me off, and before I knew it, I was curled up next to her sobbing.

"This isn't easy," I choked out. "Being a girl sucks."

"Yeah, but I'll be over it. CJ's my friend and I can't be jealous and salty. She liked him first I guess and it's my own fault," Ashton sniffed, hiccuping.

"Don't say that," I said, looking at her. "Ash, it's okay to be sad."

"I guess that's just always how it's been though. I constantly put others before me, but that's just my personality. I can't change it," Ashton said miserably. "Even though I love Ryan, I want the best for CJ because she's my best friend. I don't know, it's so complicated."

Ashton cried louder and buried her head in my shoulder. After our session of tears, Ashton and I walked back into the lunch room, our eyes red and our hearts heavy.

The terrible thing was, nobody from our table bothered to ask us where we've been or why we looked so down.

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"What if I told you I had a crush on Hayden?" I gulped. The bell had just rung, signaling the end of the day and Sadie was at her locker gathering her things. We had become close friends lately.

"Really?" Sadie's brow crinkled. "That wouldn't have been my choice, but I totally ship it." She smiled. 

"Thanks Sades. Everybody else kinda hates me for liking him," I shrugged.

"Well then they're idiots!" she cheerfully exclaimed. I laughed in return and went off to go find Kasey and Kaitlyn. They had promised to audition for the school play with me and I was supposed to meet them in the auditorium.

I walked into the auditorium and immediately spotted Kaitlyn and Kacey whispering in the front row.

"Hey guys!" I exclaimed. "What's up?"

They stopped their hushed talking and Kacey gave me a totally fake smile.

"Nothing," she responded rather coldly.

"Okay..." I trailed off. "What were you guys talking about?"

"Nothing," Kacey snapped. Kaitlyn looked down at her lap. I stepped back, taken by surprise and walked away from them. What had crawled up their butts and died?

I ran out of the auditorium and into the bathroom. Flinging open a stall door, I vomited into the toilet, hot tears pouring down my face.

Coughing and wiping my mouth, I flushed the toilet and turned on the sink, scooping water into my hands and drinking.

I plopped down against the wall, crying. Hiccups were escaping my mouth, making it hard to breathe. I put my hand in front of me and tried to focus on it so I could regain my normal breathing pattern.

It didn't work and I started shaking violently. Sobbing even more, I fell against the floor.

I was so tired of feeling weak and worthless and I wanted to stop crying. But I couldn't.

A voice coming from outside the bathroom interrupted my tears.

"Hey, who's in there?" My heart almost stopped. What was Hayden Hepart still doing here?

"What-Hayden, why-?" I stammered, tears cascading down my face in embarrassment.

I felt more vomit coming up and I scrambled into a stall to puke.

"Bianca?" Hayden gaped.

I shivered and flushed the toilet, crawling back out to the wall.

"Bee hold on, I'm coming in there," Hayden shouted.

Feeling helpless, I lay back on the bathroom floor, my tears choking me. Then I saw Hayden's face looking over me, his eyes shot with worry.

"Bee," he gasped, kneeling down and scooping me up. One hand clutched mine, his thumb tracing circles on my knuckles. The other started stroking my hair.

"Shhhhhhh," he whispered. "Everything's going to be okay."

I was laying in Hayden's lap, crying hysterically when all of a sudden I stopped. Hayden's lips were on my forehead.

"I'll always be here for you Bee," he murmured, his lips brushing against my forehead. My heart was drumming and I couldn't breathe.

My eyes closed and with a shaky breath, I passed out.

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"Bee! Oh my god please don't be dead. Damn it, I wouldn't be able to survive if you were gone. Come on Bee, wake up!" Hayden fretfully said.

I groaned and opened my eyes, squinting. What? Why was Hayden in the girls bathroom?

Then the memories all came flooding back. I remembered everything. I sat up, gaping at him.

"Bee?" Hayden asked carefully, touching my arm. "Are you okay? Do you need me to take you to the nur-"

I cut him off with a hug.

"Thank you," my muffled voice squeaked. Then a pair of strong arms wrapped me up and held me.

"Anytime Bee," Hayden whispered. I hugged him tighter.

Hayden Hepart had officially stolen my heart. And he was in no rush to return it to me.