Talking | Kian Lawley

pt. 24 : why arent you listening

/Jc\

As Ema was talking about Kian all I could think was that she really loved him. It honestly hurt me, why didn't she love me? Why didn't Lia love me? I knew that this wasn't about me though, this was about Kian and Ema

Ema's eyes turned red and hearing her sniffle and her soft sobs made me want to tell her everything will be okay, but I didn't wanna lie to her

Kian is too complicated, it's not even funny. He's always wrapped up in his own world. He wouldn't listen to me

"Look Jc I think you should go"

"Ema-"

"I'm fine really, I'm okay." She gave me a weak smile and stood up. I hugged her tightly. She did the same. This wasn't going to be my last time seeing her, Ema will be happy again. She will be okay. She will get what she deserves

"I'll talk to Kian.." was the last thing I said before jogging towards the door and walking through it without her saying otherwise

I heard Ema yelling my name but I pretended I didn't hear her. I went to my car and drove back to my house

••••

I unlock the door and see Kian as I walk in. "Dude we need to talk"

Kian turns around with a concerned face, "before you say anything, Corey's coming in like, two hours-"

"Kian I already know, anyway you need to get back with Ema"

Kian turns back and shakes his head, "what?"

"I can't Jc, you know how bad I hurt her?" I throw my keys down at the couch and go up to him. He was making a sandwich

"She still fucking loves you Kian. I may not know a lot of relationships but dude she still loves you"

"Jc-"

I pull Kian's arm and tried making him look at me. "Kian."

"This is all so sudden, where you just at her house?"

"Yes"

"Why the fuck were you there!" anger was in his voice, he was jealous. It made me smile, he still liked her. Cared for her

"Jc, look. I-I can't see her ok? I just can't"

"Why not"

"Ive put her through hell. We weren't even dating Jc, we were just a flirt together and I fucked it up and-"

"Kian, who the fuck cares if you guys dated or not!

"I do because I wanted us to date, I wanted us to get married, I saw myself marring her, having kids, and growing old"

I didn't say anything. Kian's voice was cracking. I knew I should of waited later to tell him, I shouldn't of walked in and started talking. I felt bad, why was that?

"Jc, if I see her, it'll just hurt me more. She doesn't deserve me, I'm bad Jc. I can't help myself to look at her and see all the pain I caused her. I care about her more than I do about myself, it'll be, s-so hard for me"

His eyes got watery and he started swallowing. Maybe on spit. I always saw him take gulps, maybe he just couldn't breathe also. So many maybes

"You need to talk to her, you need to get her back"

"I can't Jc!"

"Why aren't you listening to yourself kian? Why aren't you listening to me! You admitted how you're still in love with her! I told you still loves you also! Go and get her"

"I met a girl, we talked, and it was epic.." Kian looked down and I knew he was crying. He looked up at the ceiling and his eyes got puffy. Tears slowly came down and he closed his eyes tightly

Kian slid his back down against the cabinets under the sink. I sat by him and watched him cry

Why did I still feel bad?

"I-i went mad when I was with her Jc. I can't l-let that happen again. Loves not suppose to do that, she made me go mad"

I furrowed my eyebrows, my chest ached. "You really loved her dude. It's not love if you aren't with someone who makes you go crazy"