Talking | Kian Lawley

part 26 : stop crying (2)

/ema\

"Take me back ema, I beg"

I was crying, we both were. And we couldn't stop ourselves. We were both so much alike. He's my soul mate, Kian's my love. I've waited for this day to happen. I waited for him to say that to me. I didn't give up on him and even though I was crying, it was mostly tears of joy. He came back

"I'm going to fall more deeply in love with you Kian and you don't have to love me back but I'm going to give you my heart again"

I looked up at Kian. His eyes red making it seem like he was stoned. He smiled "ema I never stopped loving you either"

I smiled and looking up at my ceiling. Tears fell from my eyes

Kian was looking at me, "you and Jc did things when he was over huh?"

I bit my bottom lip he must of saw my little hickey on my neck. I took a big gulp preparing for my answer

"Yeah but I'm sorry-"

"I'm not mad, I mean I am jealous but, I'm not mad. Trust me"

It felt weird talking to Kian again. I mean we were on good terms now, I still have those feelings I felt the first day I met him. But it felt, weird. He's in my face I mean. We weren't crying anymore but there was still sad moments

We didn't really say much. We said everything we've been waiting to say. But we weren't, happy. I kinda thought this would be different in my head. I thought we'd say how he feel and he'd move in with me, and we'd kiss and we can go back to how good things were

But this is reality. Things aren't going to be good like a snap. Things aren't going to go back to how things were that fast. I at least wanted to kiss him though

I wanted to know how his lips were pressed against mine. I missed them

I grabbed Kian's face and Kian leaned in first. We pecked each other's lips and pulled away. Kian got closer to me and pulled me onto of his lap. I turned on the tv and put on Netflix. I put on Save the Last Dance. Kian's hands went down to my butt and just had them there. He would here and there grab my butt and mostly just had it there. My head was against his chest hearing his heart beat

I looked up at him and he was so interested into the movie. It made me smile. He was so beautiful.

"I know you're staring at me but I'll just let you keep doing it because I know you aren't going to stop anytime soon" he said and looked at me and kissed my forehead

He's doing everything he used to do. It made a zoo go crazy in my stomach.

"I missed you.." I said really low hoping he wouldn't hear me but he did

My arms were set on his waist. He grabbed my butt again, "ema I will make you happy again. I will do whatever it takes for you to be happy again and I won't give up. You didn't give up on me, but I can't give up on you ema. Even though I tried to, you were-- you never left my mind. I had a vision of us. We had a two kids, a boy and a girl."

"Kian a couple days ago, I had a dream about us where we could hold hands again. It felt so real, I woke up screaming from pain because of how much I missed you. We talked about a future together. I missed you way too much and I thought you moved on so I didnt try calling you that late at night"

"Ema-" a tear left his eye

"Kian I was hell without you but I'm so happy now. When you were talking and I was crying, I was crying tears of joy because you came back. You came back for me. I'm so happy now. You're gonna have to kill me, for me to give up on you. You can see that as a good thing or a bad thing. I love you Kian Robert Lawley, hold onto that."

Kian pulled me off of him and grabbed my face. He got on top of me and started kissing me all over. His hands left my face and went down my body. Holding my waist. He kissed my neck, leaving me a hickey or two

I ran my hands though his hair. I started tugging. "I love you too doll face"

He pulled away and said those words. He got off of me and got on one knee. He pulled a black box from his pocket. I gasped and sat up straight looking at him with tears in my eyes

"Because nothing makes me more sadder and more happier than you do, ema I want you to be my shoulder to cry on forever. I don't care if we stress, if we argue, if we get laid off, if we barley got money. There's no one else I'd rather go through all that with. You are my baby, I told my mom about you. I mean I had to talk to someone about you, you drive me crazy. Please take me back, please be my girlfriend, and please be my wife?"

I jumped from the couch and grabbed Kian to stand up. "Kian-"

"We can buy a house, we can have kids, we can hold hands like you saw in your dreams!"

"Kian please-"

"I love you Ema"

I shook my head, no

He gave ma sad look like hazel had died. "I'm sick Kian"

"Ok we'll take you a doctor, I'll set a warm bath" he started walking away but I grabbed his arms

I wanted us to be good, I wanted us to date again, I wanted him to take me back and he does, but I didn't want us to get married

"Kian listen to me please"

"What's wrong? You're scaring me"

"I have leukemia. That's why everything's been so hard for me. I felt like I was dying, my chest hurt everyday, my hair was falling out and I thought it was stress but now I have patches!" I screamed and showed him the places

"No Ema, no no no. You- this has got to be a joke ha ha jokes Ema where's the camera."

I didn't move

"Ema, please tell me you're joking"

"I-I'm so sorry Kian. I wanted us to be back together I wanted us to be okay but Kian I can't marry you"

Kian sunk to hug his knees and started to sob

I started crying also, "kian-"

"How long do you have Ema?"

I stood quiet. "Ema!" He yelled and stood up. Tears were still falling from his eyes. I hated seeing him like this

"How long do you have? Answer me!"

"A couple months. The doctors think I'll be lucky to live up to a year"

Kian sobbed more. He couldn't stop crying. I wanted him to stop crying, I wanted him to be happy, I wanted him to be okay