Beloved: Memoir of a Phantom

Chapter 23- Visitors

    CHAPTER 23

       Visitors

“You don’t understand!” I shouted at Sean as he dragged me down the emergency stairwell after him, leaving a trail of blood drips as we went.

“He’s coming for me, He told me so! I had to let him know where I am so that he could come and get me!”

“Oh really? Because it looked to me like you were trying to mutilate yourself again!” He shouted back before pausing to take a deep breath and regain his composure. “Do you know how much it tears me up inside to see you doing this to yourself?” He spoke softly; a touch of sadness lingering in his voice.

I snorted a short sarcastic laugh. “Ha! The only reason you ever liked me at all is because you were assigned to me!” I spat.

My harsh words noticeably stung him as he quickly dropped my arm and shook his head. “You know that’s not true! I…” He cut off his own sentence with a sigh.

I felt remorseful about the words I had said, now that I saw how badly they had hurt him.

“I’m sorry Sean… I have no idea why I said those horrible things before.” I said looking down at the floor and then to my wrist.

“Don’t worry about it and get back to your room.” He spoke in a daze.

I frowned looking from him to my self inflicted wound again. “Shouldn’t I be going to the infirmary about this?”

He looked at my bleeding wrist and heaved a heavy sigh. “Right, I suppose I should escort you to the infirmary.” He said flatly as he took me to the other end of the building to get bandaged up.

Aside from him acting strangely preoccupied that day Sean returned to his normal self again around me. The months flew by quickly filled with silly daydreams of freedom and often of being reunited with Gabriel.

I started to become more introverted and hermetic, spending the vast majority of my time sitting alone in my room listening to records and penning sweet poems of death and other bleak things I dreamed of. I drove out any pestering from wandering spirits with my music and poetry just so that I would remain alone. And it was almost completely successful until one overcast afternoon I had a visitor I could not ignore or bring myself to drive away.

I could sense his presence from where I sat against the wall before I saw him. I wasn’t sure why, but I looked at the painting across from my bed and all of the hair stood up on my arms. I could tell I wasn’t alone anymore.

“You’re here aren’t you?” I asked the empty room around me, silent except for the crackling of the perpetually skipping record on its ending loop.

“Yes” I heard him whisper softly like a cool breeze, increasing the goose bumps up my flesh.

He was here. My beloved had finally come for me! I turned to the direction his voice had come from and was disappointed by what I saw.

Although he stood there handsome as ever, his long dark hair showering over the shoulders of his dark clothing and his green eyes watching me lovingly from across the room; his form was translucent and wavering. There was no denying now that he was amongst the spirit world now.

“I’ve been waiting for the time when you would come.” I said picking myself off the floor. I felt compelled to come closer to him, to touch him to see if he were really standing there. Even if he was a spirit I was just so happy to see him there I couldn’t help but smile. “You found me.” I laughed feeling the tears of joy streaking zigzags down my cheeks. I reached out to habitually brush away the blood tears that rolled freely down his cheek, but stopped when my fingers sailed directly through his translucent marble flesh as though he were not standing inches from me.  I couldn’t hide my disappointment and looked down at the floor. I sighed heavily. “So it’s true then. You really did die that day.” I simply stated, afraid to look back up again and find him fading away.