Stuck in the Middle

Goodbye

Chapter 22

Zayn apologised to Harry the day after and went back to staying at the hotel with the other boys. I hadn't even seen Harry for days and I was starting to wonder if he was leaving and entering the hotel while I was on my breaks, purposely avoiding even the slightest chance of running into me.

Zayn and I weren't really communicating with each other which saddened me but I knew it was for the best, at least that's what I kept telling myself. I couldn't ruin the worlds biggest boy band, I just couldn't do that. We would occasionally text each other but even that was beginning to irritate Harry, or at least that's what Zayn told me anyway since I hadn't seen Harry for days.

It was now one of my days off and I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

The boys were leaving for Australia tomorrow and I knew that the invitation that was once extended to me was gone. I tried not to sulk but it was weighing down on me that I would never be this close to the boys ever again. I had completely and utterly screwed everything up and now I was trying to fix my own life.

Since I had popped up in a few magazines lately I had received a few calls about modelling and although I had never even thought about it before, I was now on my way to a photo shoot.

I was nervous out of my mind and I had no idea what would come out of it. All of a sudden there was a lot of interest in me and I wasn't sure how to handle it.

I figured it wouldn't hurt to try and since the shoot was going to earn me $1000 on the spot I couldn't say no. I fidgeted with my dress as I walked up the small staircase and into the office of a modelling agency. It was relatively small but very fancy and had a big plaque with Lite Modelling Agency spread across it in bold letters.

I had only heard good things about this agency which is why I said yes in the first place. They had turned a lot of fresh faces into well known faces and I didn't doubt that they could do the same for me, if they liked me.

I walked up to the receptionist who could have easily been a model herself, she was stunning.

"Hi um I'm Demi, you guys called me earlier today." I said and her face immediately told me that she recognised me.

"Yes brilliant to have you here Demi!"

And that was the beginning of many cheerful introductions to countless happy faces and I couldn't help but feel low because I wasn't happy.

I tried to shrug it off and followed instructions as I posed and faked a smile for a number of photos in an array of outfits.

"Thank you." I finally said as I walked out of the door and onto the warm street. I didn't feel warm inside, I felt artificial and fake, maybe it was because I knew the only reason anyone would ever want to put my photo in a magazine was because of all of the rumours. If only they knew what had actually happened, they would swoop like vicious birds, eager to hear about the love triangle. I was blessed that they didn't know and I was determined to never let them find out.

It was crazy how it had all happened, developing feelings for two guys, it was so fast that I was starting to doubt if any of it was real. I had to remind myself that the boys were the most famous boyband in the world and they probably went through girls as often as they cut their hair. I was no different, at least that's what I tried to convince myself.

I pulled into the langham on my way home out of instinct. I didn't want Harry or Zayn to leave without at least trying to say goodbye to them. I knew it was a stupid idea as soon as I walked through the door but I continued to walk in and over to the elevators. I even made it up to their floor but from there I just couldn't do it, I leaned against a wall in the hallway and sank down onto the floor just staring at the door and hoping that somebody would come out and I wouldn't have to knock on it. I didn't have any courage left in me and I just stared and stared and started to remember everything that had occurred in that hotel room and it made me feel horrible.