Well, as I take a deep breath in while I type this out, I begin with an exhaled statement, It's been a long crazy year, but here I stand in 2017.
I have already harped on how this year is going to be my year, so I will not go in further.
However, it's been an interesting few days, I've noticed much more, I am begining to truly perceive people as who they are, both good & bad alike. I have learned a handful of things. I realized even more, as if possible.
Even though I'm as stubborn & hard-headed as a bull.
I Subconsciously remember everything, at an increasing rate the older I get.
At any rate, along with realizing often comes with pain, I feel. The more you really look into things, the more enlightening it can be however, it's a double edged sword. I promise you, I speak from experience.
The more you delve into situations that aren't even that deep, the more you will end up hurt, sure that sucks, then the bright side is, you come out of the hurt with knowledge. Knowledge is power they say.
I feel pretty fucking good then.
So many years of my life have genuinely been wasted, I was so caught up with my way of thinking, It is literally not in my personality to just "Let shit go." I don't know how some people do it, I am DYING to know how. I can't help but to take things people say personally, because people mean what they say. I honestly have no clue where to even start to understand how to let shit go, or how I will start not taking everything so personally.. I have to start somewhere. I have to be the change I want to see, change doesn't come on the wind, just it's foreboding feeling in your bones. I can feel it. I won't waste anymore time. This year it is as cut as it is dry. I am gonna make it. I have no option.
Time is flying by me faster & faster, before I know it I'm gonna be 25. I set a handful of goals for myself on a piece of paper I have tucked away in a box of sentimental odds & ends. I have 4 1/2 years left to knock the rest out. I can't keep living the same way. I have to change my mindset if I want to start thriving & that is the harshest realization yet, it took me so long to even attempt understand the most simple concept. I feel so foolish.
This entry was a mess I'm so sorry y'all. Having a hard time focusing.
YOU ARE READING
Free Flow.
PoetryJust a few paragraphs I wrote out, it's nothing like what I have ever let someone read, let alone post online, but I can promise you, it's real, my emotions, my look back on 2016, most crucial is my body itching for a running start into 2017, this t...
