Just Me And My Life I Guess

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There is a raser in my room. I feel like grabbing it and making so many cuts for every stupid thing i did. Im a dumbass. I cant even look at my friends with out thinking. They hate me. I want to just cut for all of my stupid mistakes. For being dumb. What happened between me and my male cousin. For just being me. I should be dead i should have killed myself in 6th grade i should of. Im such a waste of space. I bet all my friends are fake. I seriously dont even talk to most of them. They always forget me i bet. I just want to disappear and see if anyone would notice if im gone. I just want to know what everyone thinks of me. I hate my self. I remember i lied to my doctor i think nurse that i like my self. Im so stupid. I hate life sometimes.

I wonder if my friends hate me. I wonder if i die if any of my friends would even care. I wonder what the pain i would bring to my family. Im so done with life.

Im becomes more depressed now. I hate this.