Just Me And My Life I Guess

....

I feel empty right now. Maybe I need sleep. Yeah that's the case. I just need sleep. I'm just sleepy. I did wake up at 5 today and almost fell asleep in band and algebra. Dang I'm just a big mess. Am I?

I hate the feeling of emptiness in me. It feels like I should do something but no I can't!

Now its going down.

I'm dumb. A screw up. Hated by most people and teachers. I'm a rude af person and don't even realise it. I'm not even worth talking to. I hate myself. I almost cut one time. I have a razor in my room. I know where it is. I want to commit suicide not just in the 6th grade. I'm bullied and judge by my physical appearance. I'm alive because i don't want to give people pain for knowing I'm dead. I disappoint everyone. I don't deserve friends.

I'm fake. I'm insane. I'm depressed. I'm fat and never be skinny enough. I'm the ugly sister. I'm the dumb classmate. I'm the last choice. I'm the hated child. I'm the ugly one. I'm the left over. I'm not the clever one. I'm the talentless one. I'm the why are you even here. I will never be good enough.

Everything that happen is my fault. I know this is true. My monsters tell. They say I'm stupid, sensitive, and naive. I make everything worse and worse and worse.

No one notice how depressed I am. I can be crying and they still ignore me right in front of their fucking faces. My teachers still look at me and be blind. My friends wouldn't even notice. Even own family.

I'm okay
But I'm not
I'm not happy.
I'm not sad.
Most of the time
I don't even know
I feel confuse.
I guess im living but I'm not.

Why do people always leave me?
Why do people always put me down?
Why do people always talk over me?
Why do people always let me down.
Why do people always take advantage of me?
Why do people always make fun of me?
Why do people always use me?
Why do people always talk about me?
Why do people always lie to me?

I'M SORRY

I'm sorry I only ever mess things up.
I'm sorry I have a bad attitude.
I'm sorry I'm a waste of space.
I'm sorry I'm a waste of time.
I'm sorry I'm such a burden
I'm sorry I'm such a huge fuck up.
I'm sorry I can't do anything right.

It's sad how now one cares until something dramatic happens then they all care!

I am a huge fucking disappointment to everyone. I'm sorry.

Sorry for disbursing everyone......