Killua x Reader - I cant believe I tried to kill her

Part 17

-Illumi's POV-
Eventually I noticed I never had Y/N eat her food. Oh well. Once she was asleep I decided to scoot over, closer to her. She was really warm. Also she smelled really good. Gotah must've gotten her different shampoo and stuff because she didn't smell like mine. I decide to cuddle her a bit. Why? Because I've never felt what it's like to be loved or to love. At least not in a romantic way. I felt... Alone? People say I'm emotionless. Which isn't really a lie. The only person I care for is Killua. If everyone else in my family died I wouldn't much care. The reason I took Y/N away from him was because he didn't need her. And I felt like he didn't love me back. But this probably wouldn't help. I wondered about my mother and father. Do they even truly love each other? Or did they just get together to make us? Assassin kids? Do they even love us? Or are we just used for their dirty work. I mean I don't have a problem with killing. What else would I do? I sit up. (Now it starts to get a bit unrealistic just roll with it) Something wet rolls down my check, "What the hell?" I say aloud, which wakes Y/N  up.

"What?" She yawns tiredly. "What's wrong Illumi? Are you crying?"

"What? What is 'crying'?"

She gets up and walks towards the bathroom. I follow her but then she closes the door. "What's crying mean, Y/N?" I knock on the door and she doesn't say anything I brush away another drop. "Tell me!"

She opens the door and walks out, "You seriously don't know??" She asks giving me a perplexed look.

"No."

"You cry when you feel sad or depressed. Tears are basically just drops of salt water that come out of your eyes." She says as if it's the most obvious thing EVER.

"Tell me more about emotion..."

"Fine," she sighs.

After she's told me a LOT about emotion and other things I understand a bit better how Killua feels. Really horrible. Then I start to feel what Y/N called sympathy. I felt bad for my brother. He lost one of the people he loved dearly. "Y/N how do you feel?"

"What do you mean?" She asked giving a confused look.

"I mean about being kid napped. And being away from Killua."

What she called a tear slipped down her face. "Don't remind me." She said quietly.

I pick her up and set her in my lap, hugging her. "Sorry. I was just wondering..."

"What are you doing Illumi?!"

"Trying to comfort you. Should I stop?" I ask.

-Your POV-
I hesitate. I don't necessarily dislike it, but I don't like him very much. I want to say no. But I don't want him to feel bad about it so I stay quiet.

" Y/N?" He whispers. "I want you to stay here, with me. But if it makes you happy to leave and be with Killua I ... I might let you leave."

"W-why?"

"Because. I understand how much he misses you now. And I. Care? Care? Is that the right word?" I nod "I care about you."

"I don't think Killua does though," I say.

"What? He does."

"How to you know?"

"Because he's here. Looking for you, or at least trying to escape his chains."

"You'll let me leave?"

"I said I might. But I really just want you to stay here. With me. I need... a friend."

-Illumi's POV-
'Man. My feelings about this girl have really changed. At first I didn't want her to sleep in my bed. Now I want her to stay here, with me'

She didn't say anything. Then I noticed she was asleep again. I didn't have any missions today so I just cuddled with her some more. I was so glad she was asleep. This was sort of taking advantage of her being asleep but oh well. What do you expect from an assassin in his twenties? (I know he'd probably be pretty old by this time but let's just say he's younger)

-Hisoka's POV-
Killua called me last night asking for help with my dear Y/N. I said I'd help but I was a bit busy today and tomorrow so I texted him.

Me:   Hey Killua I'm busy today and tomorrow. Could I help you after tomorrow? Or is it a today kind of thing. Because I might be able to fit it in tomorrow but there's no possible way I could help with this today.

    Killua:    That's fine as long as you're here the day after tomorrow.

Me:    Okay~

-Illumi's POV-
After around a half an hour I decided to go back to bed.

I woke up at like 6:30 in the morning a stuffed my head in the crook of Y/N's neck. I didn't want to get up yet. Then I felt her stirring.

"Illumi?"

"Yes, love?"

"What time is it? And don't call me that. I'm not dating you. Also, could you let go?"

I didn't let go, "It's 6:32 and I love you so I'm not letting go. But I will stop calling you love."

"Illumi," she groaned "You don't love me. Last night you didn't know what love was."

"Yes, but you explained the symptoms and I have all of them."

"Since when? Oh and you make love sound like a sickness."

"Is that an insult?"

"Mhmm."

"Oh come on! Give me a chance."

"Why? You kid napped me. Seemed to hate me. Cuddled with me when I was asleep. And won't let go now that I'm awake. And now you're going to be pissed that I'm not giving you a chance. You have too many mood swings."

"Please?"

"No."

"It's not that bad. Please?"

She didn't answer.