Nicole Barton
I finally decided to call Matthews mother. I was going to let Matthew see Samantha but I was going to make it very clear that he was not going to be in our lives. I told my mom that I didn't want her to come with me because this was something that I needed to do alone.
My mother was down stairs holding Sam waiting for me. I wanted a few minutes to myself before I went to face him. I have thought about this day for the last year and now it's hear and I can barley move my legs. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bag of the bed. I walked downstairs and took Sam from my mother.
"Are you ready?" She said putting her hand on my shoulder.
"As ready as I'm ever going to be" She kissed me on my head and opened the door. We got into the car and drove to Matthews's house. When she pulled up in front of the house I saw flash backs from the night everything happened. I'll be right hear in the car when you're ready.
"Ok" I took a deep breath and opened the car door. I took Sam out of her seat and walked up the path to the door. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I waited a few seconds and then Matthews's mother opened the door.
"Nicole, I so happy to see you" She almost looked like she was going to cry. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me and Sam on our cheek. I don't know why I stopped talking to her. She was the sweetest woman. I remember she was always like a second mother to me. I guess after what happened with Matt I dident want to go any where near there house.
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm good, please come in" I walked in and waited for her to close the door. She walked into the living room and I followed behind her. I had to take deep breaths to keep myself under control.
"May I?" She said gesturing to Sam"
"Yea, you are her grandmother. I'm sorry for keeping her away from you for so long, I understand now that your part of her too"
"That's ok" She said holding out her hands as I gave Sam to her. I saw Sam's face change, she was about to cry. She didn't like being held by strangers. I put my hand on her belly and hushed her until she got comfortable. Soon she looked up at Ms Daniels and smiled.
"She's beautiful" I smiled at her.
"Thank you"
"Of coarse she is beautiful, she looks just like her mother" My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. I didn't need to turn around to see who it was. I turned around slowly to face him.
He stood in front of me taller than I remembered, but other than that he looked the same. My heart started racing and I felt my palms becoming clammy. I had no idea what to say.
"I think I'll leave you to alone" Ms Daniels put Sam back in my arms and left the room. There was a bout two feet of space between Matthew and I.
"Would you like to have a seat?" I walked over to the couch with out answering him. Sam laid in my arms staring at another stranger in front of her. And that's what he was to her, a stranger.
"I know we have allot to talk about" He said looking down, and then he looked up at me. "And I would like to start with first apologizing. The last time we saw each other I was not myself and what I did to you was beyond wrong. I took all of my anger out on you, and I shouldn't have. I was going through so much at the time. Things just kept piling on top of each other, and when you came over that night and told me you were...were, pregnant everything came down on top of me and I exploded. I never meant any of those things I said to you. I spent the last year regretting every word. If thing had went differently that night I would never had said them"
"Well you did and things weren't different that night. And if this was to make me feel sorry for you I don't, because you don't deserve sympathy. I lost every single one of my friends, I couldn't even have a baby shower because I knew no one would show up. My life has changed forever, but you know what I have to deal with it because that what parents do. I have a daughter that I have to be strong for. Because I'm the only parent she has. But I didn't come hear to give you a sob story I came to let you know that you are going to have no part in our life. I'm going to let you see her but at my own will. And as for me I want nothing to do with you"
"I understand and I didn't expect anything more or less" There was a few seconds of silence.
"Would you like to hold her?"
"I would love to" I stood up and gently put Sam in his arms. She had fallen asleep while I was holding her so I didn't have to calm her down.
"She looks just like you"
"She looks nothing like me, she looks like you"
"We made one beautiful baby girl"
"Yea we did" He looked up at me and I knew this was not over.
"I want you to know that when I told you I loved you I meant forever. I'm never going to stop loving you and I'm never going to stop trying to make you love me back" I took a deep breath.
"Then you're in for a big disappointment"
