Hush: don't speak child [Completed]

Part 6: Reflection

I walk through the streets.
Everything feels the same.
Why does it feel as if i walked through these streets before?

No, it can't be true.

I see a mother and a child..
The mother tells her child...
"Hush, don't cry child." Close your eyes.

Those words brings so much pain.
Those words brings a knife through my heart.

The ground seems wider as if the strangers running pass, i manage to see their past.

Thats right.
Everything seems like it's rotating.

Phrase 2,
Phrase 3,
But why is it that phrase 1 is missing?

I'm losing my mind.
Im afraid.

My homeless home doesn't feel like home anymore.

I run.
I run as far away.
But everything keeps on catching up.

Its after me.

I stare at my reflection.
I say "don't be afraid, child."

Thats right.

I show you my heart, but you only look at the shape not the colour.

My heart is black.
My favourite colour is red.
I love fire more than water.
Why?!

Nothing makes sense anymore.

It feels as if I'm in a box, a reality show.

No,no,no.... this can't be true.

Cough* cough*

I say 'no' but someone just puts a sweet in my mouth saying... "hush child."

I scream and scream.
No one seems to hear my voice anymore.

My mother, my father,
My brother,
My sister,
I never had them before, shit.

Even though, I remember the time they placed me in your arms...
It didn't feel right.

Thats right.
Even as a baby, i screamed 'no'.
But no one understood.

It feels as if someone's watching me.
I'm not paranoid.
I'm just losing my mind.

Open the curtains.
Show me your face.

Tell me who i am,
Because clearly I can't figure out who i am anymore.

They applause at me.
They are staring at me and only me. Insecurities.

A shining bright light emerges from the clouds...

"Thats right child. Thats right you did it. No, I wont let go of your hand. I will hold it tight. Never letting go."

Don't cry. No weaknesses, no strength either.

"That fire in your heart, i removed it. Your no longer on fire. Don't speak. Your healing."

Your light is blinding. Its growing.

"You didn't deserve to die that's why i re created you. You made me proud."

Those words still don't feel right.

Tick-tock.

I turn around and see that rotten, ancient clock again.

Instead of breaking it.
I rotate the hands.

Thats right.
I turn back time.

To the times, where you held me tight.
The times, where you told me, 'your never letting me go.'
Those times, even though i was on fire and burnt, i still felt peace in your arms.

You rocked me.
You protected me in your wings.

Thats right, I remember those times.

The happiest times of my life.
Where i smiled,laughed.
I hardly cried,screamed or ran away.

I'm turning back time so, i can say...
"No don't tell me not to speak!
Don't tell me not to cry! No, don't do that any of that. Just don't let go of my hand. Don't betray me. Thats all I'm asking. Thats right. I'm not asking for your eyes or your soul. Im asking for your heart."

A second chance.

But even if i turn back time, everything repeats.

Reflects and rotates.

Nothing stops.
Nothing freezes in time.

Everything just repeats itself.
Even the time, where you set me on fire and watched me burn.