Hush: don't speak child [Completed]

Part 2: Ditch

Tick-tock , tick- tock
Mr psychiatrist, please listen
No, don't write
Look into my eyes
Ah, i forgot
Its not because you want to, its because you have to.
Damn.
Its your job.

My thoughts, i have to put them into a rhythm , for you to understand. Why?

Stand up, run.
No mom, no, stop
You don't care, i know you don't.
Stop it, stop.
Taste the sweetness of running out of oxygen.
Carry on mom.
Get up again, run.
Keep running.
She's catching up.
Hush child, no don't cry , don't speak.
Let me just rock you in my arms.

Your arms feel so desolated. Death's destination is decomposed in your district. It's deceiving. Your words , i have to decode them. Incorrigible.

I guess I'm faster than you.
She stopped. No she's not letting go.
She has to.
Eventually, she lets go.
Her oxygen tank wasn't full anyways. As always.

Who's next?
Wow the line isn't line. I thought someone had my back. Shit, there's a knife in my back.

Lets just say i have no brothers.
Sister, i lost her. Emotionally.
I have no dad. Damn.
Who's next?
Oh fuck. I guess thats the end of the line...

The voices telling me to run.
Im running, but everything still catching up.
Stop. *blank*

Wait, where am i?
Mr psychiatrist?
No more playing tricks
Why is everything so dark?

Close your eyes. Wake up.
Where's the windows,doors,the ceiling, the floor?
I'm suffocating.
Hush.

I keep telling myself to give up, to watch over from the sky not my eyes.

I remember that dream i had, you didn't take me seriously. It was a show until it was released then... *blank*... that's right, it was all just a dream.

Nothing really make sense anymore.
Everything seems like a puzzle missing some pieces.
Don't worry about me. Just worry about yourself. Self-centred.

Don't panic child. Child, just hide in your mother's wings.

Mother's not here.
The wings that are only protecting me are not angel's wings but Satan's.

Close your eyes.
'Its just a dream' i keep telling myself.
You rocked me in a cot not your arms. No wonder i feel so lonely.
It wasn't you fault anyways. I remembered years ago, when i was a child, i woke up in the middle of the night asked grandma.. "why is mommy crying?" She just cut me off and told me, hush child go back to sleep. Mommy looks sad. My hugs are painful to her. Those black bags, the taxi, I remember it all. I might have been five but i can still remember mommy's eyes.

Everything is fake. This is not real.