SAVE ME // POETRY & PROSE

xxx. you're making me so sick, love

XXX. YOU'RE MAKING ME SO SICK, LOVE

to me, you used to be the world.
your silly dance moves and bad jokes, your heartfelt laughs and kind smiles, it all made my heart leap and flutter but now the only thing you make me feel is hatred, a lump in my throat forming as i wish i could scream at you all the things i never said.

soft touches of delicate fingers were enough to ease me, but now i slither away from your skin.
your sweet, sugary words used to melt me but now i'm frozen as your words are no longer said to me, but to her.
you wave and smile at her, completely ignoring the fact that i too stand right there. i guess she still looks better than me even when we're both drenched in rainwater. she imitates me to no extent ( the way i dress, the way i do my makeup, the music i ( we ) listen to ), and yet you fall for her and not for me. i thought forgeries were despised, but as of lately i seem to be wrong about everything. you're the kind of person who exhibits cheap, false paintings while the true art rots away in your basement.

i've forgotten the taste of your name as it rolls off my tongue like part of the alphabet; i've buried our memories so deep underground not even the deepest tree roots could reach them and your laughter is now nothing but a distant echo in the back of my mind.
out of all of us, you're the worst.
you were a natural disaster that came softly, rocking me back and forth before wrecking my world.
and now you'll try to do the same to her, but she is softer and far more naive than me, so you'll be merciful and let her wreck you instead ( which she won't do, for she is unaware of a woman's powers).

my eyes bury daggers in your back, just like you buried daggers in my mind.
i think they all notice it except for you. he looks at me with scolding eyes, telling me to stop or your thorns will carve themselves onto my skin even deeper and never let me go.

but i ignore his words as i know that in a couple years you'll be nothing but a nostalgic memory, a remembrance of the days when i thought i could find myself in someone else, a "tragic ever after" fairytale that parents will never tell to their children, afraid it will taint their hopeful little brains.

and that is where they are wrong.
let your children know of the heartbreak that goes around the world, teach them how to shield themselves from the harm others might inflict on them, tell them how there's more to life than enchanting princes and marble palaces, the dragons aren't always the villains and princesses don't have to be saved, they can save themselves.

i wish i had learned that long before i was thrown to the wolves that we so like to call "society".

-- i used to look at you and think you're art, but i've come to realise i'm the only masterpiece in this deadbeat town.
now this masterpiece is fading away.