Why me? Why does Harry Styles have to be my partner?
Before I can stop it, memories flood my mind.
"Kate, it will be all right." My mother says, holding me tight while I am still crying.
"I just can't believe it. It can't be. Dad can't be dead." I sob. I feel my mother's tears roll on my forhead. "We can make it." She says. She says calmly, but her voice is slightly shaking. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" Mom asks me with an exhausted look on her face. I would really like to sleep in her bed, but I think she needs time to progress this information. "No, it's all right." I lie. "I should go to sleep. Goodnight, mom." "Goodnight, sweetheart." She says and gives me a kiss on the forehead.
Mom gets up of my bed and leaves the room. I'm all by myself now.
I want to scream, I want to shout I want to do anything, but no sound escapes my lips. And then the realization of the situation hits me.
My father is dead. He won't come back.
I need air. I can't breathe.
I do my best to quietly run down the stairs and open the door to our backyard. And here I am now, lying on the damp grass trying to suck as much of the cold air into my lungs. When I finally calmed down, I hear steps behind me. "Mom, I'm all right. I just need some time for myself."
"I can also leave if you want to." An all too familiar voice says.
I turn around in disbelief, thinking that I must've imagined it. But there he stands. Brown curls, green eyes and dimples and all.
"Harry. What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Your mother called me. I am so sorry for what happened." He walks up to me, while I slowly sit up and he wraps his arms around me. "I am so sorry for you, Katie." He mutters in my dark hair. And while he has wrapped his arms around me I can't hold the tears from falling. At first they're silent, but the grow bigger and bigger until it ends in ugly sobs. "It's all right, Katie. Let it all out." He stays there with me, through the whole time I cry my eyes out and he softly strokes my hair and whispers soothing words.
I don't know at what moment I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I lied on our couch. My head resting in Harry's lap, his hand carelessly lying on my hair as if he had stroked it until he fell asleep.
All this is in my head again when I see Harry slowly walking up to me. This is already the second time, that I reminded myself of my fathers death today. What a great day to start this new year. It's been 9 years since my dad died in Iraq, but it still hurts.
Logan is no longer next to me. Probably finding his partner. I'm strangly kind of sad about this little fact. Why? I don't even like Logan. Maybe because I could've need his support facing Harry.
Harry stands next to Logan's seat. "Uhm. . ." He says. "Mind if I sit here?" I glare at him. I don't know what else to say. It's the first time he spoke to me after 7 years. I hope he can't see the hurt that I feel again. I've been trying to block out all this time, since he stopped being my best friend. I want to hurt him the way he did to me. I want to scream at him. I want to ignore him, just like he did. But it's Harry. I've never been abled to be seriously mean to him. I force a smile. "Yeah, sure." I tried to make it sound careless, as if I didn't even know him. As if we weren't best friends a long time ago. But I failed. My suddenly dry throat made it sound like a frog croaking.
"Wow, this is really awkward." Logan suddenly says standing right next to me.
I sigh. Did I really want him for mental support? I can't remember why. "It's okay, Logan. Don't you have a partner to find?" I say through gritted teeth. This guy can be annoying. "Yup, I have, but I forgot my bagpack." He answers and then turns to Harry. "Would you mind handing me my bag over?" "Huh?" Harry says. "My bag. Over there. Right at your feet." "Oh, yeah. Um, sure. Here you go." Harry says and gives him his bag. "Thanks, man." He takes his bag and is gone again.
"So . . ." I say awkwardly, trying to start a conversation.
"So . . ." Harry says.
"So, you're my partner, huh?"
Why did I just say that? That was so lame.
"Yeah, seems pretty much like it." He says avoiding my gaze.
"Listen." We both say at the same time, which causes him to chuckle and shows his dimples. "You first." He says.
"No, nono. It's totally fine. You start." I say.
"Really? I really don't mind, if you'd start." He says.
"Harry, seriously. I'm okay. Just spit it out."
"Okay, uhm. . . so . . . Kate. . ."
Him calling me Kate releases a flattering feeling in my stomach. I'm pretty sure he's going to apologize. He'll say that he's sorry for just letting me down in Middle School. He'll say that he's sorry for letting me down, just so he could hang out with all the cool kids and never speak a word to me again.
"Kate, . . could you borrow me a pen?"
What?
"You want me to borrow you . . . a pen?" I ask in disbelief.
"Uhm . . . yes?"
"You didn't want to say anything else?"
Harry has an insecure look on his face, as if he's arguing with himself if he should tell me or not.
Come on, Harry. Just tell me you're sorry. That's all I need to hear.
Then, suddenly his face falls and he gets a hard expression.
"No, why would I? Now, about that pen. Do you have one or not?"
My heart drops. That's not what I wanted to hear. It's what I saw coming, I just held onto that little straw of hope, that he wasn't truly that jackass the he pretended to be wih all his cool friends.
Obviously, I was wrong.
What did I expect? Him running back to me and suddenly being best friends again? I am pathetic.
He really is the douchebag he pretends to be.
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So.. that's the second chapter of this story.
I hope you like it. Comment and if you're supernice and great you'll drop a vote :)
Til the next time.
Marjo x
