"Harry?" I nudge him.
"Hm?" he says, not opening his eyes. I get up and prop my head on one hand. I wait for him to open his eyes. He must be feeling me staring at him, because he then reluctantly opens his eyes. "What is it?"
"Do you think there will ever be a time, where we won't be friends?" I ask.
"This again?" He sighs. "You already asked me this, like, a bazilion times."
"That isn't even a number. And I'm asking again, because you could've changed your mind."
He exhales. "No, I did not change my mind."
I raise one eyebrow at him expectantly. "No, Katie, I do not think, that there will ever be a time, I won't be your friend."
"But what if we ever grow apart? Or what if you get tired of me?"
"For god's sake, Katie. If you won't stop talking about this crap I soon am getting tired of you."
It feels like as if he had slapped me in the face. He now begins to realise what he has said, and I can see him arguing with himself wether or wether not to apologise. He opens and closes his mouth, then his face softens. "I . . . I'm sorry, Katie. You know I didn't mean it."
"You sure about that? 'Cause you sounded pretty convinced." I say ignoring the stinging in my eyes.
"Of course not, Katie. I'm sorry. I sometimes just say things, that I don't mean."
"How comes, that I never know when you mean it and when not?"
"I must be a good actor then."
I wake up with a funny feeling. I remember yesterday's events, and it feels surreal. It can't be that we just made up. That can't be. I must've just imagined it. It just . . . how can we just go back to normal?
Wait a second . . . what exactly is normal? My being normal is now talking to no one. And his normal is hanging out with his super cool, popular friends. Then a thought flashes up in my mind i wish i wouldn't have thought.
Who said that we were best friends again? I am so stupid. How could I have assumed, that he would now immediately be friends with me again? Only because we talked? Yeah, you wish, Kate. Now, how am I supposed to act in front of him? I mean, are we even friends? I probably should've asked him, but I know that I wouldn't have found the courage to ask even if I would've thought of that before. Argh. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Then I ask the only person I think that may have a resolution for my problem.
'How am I supposed to act in front of my best friend I didn't talk to for seven years and have now made up with?' I type into google.
The popping up results are:
Friends with benefits.
Guy Friends are trouble.
etc.
This isn't really helping, google. I roll my eyes even if I have known that there probably won't be an answer.
You know what? Screw this. I don't need to be prepared for anything. I'll just see how he does and then I'm just gonna adapt. That easy. No need to stress around. I tell myself. The feeling of uncertainty doesn't leave me, but I choose to ignore it. For now. Tomorrow will be enough time to worry. It'll be best if I just solve one problem after another. Beginning with the easiest to the hardest. So, whee will I get a new job?
