"Harry, do we have to go?" I ask him.
"Yes, Katie. We promised your dad and you know you actually want and need to go there."
"I can't! If I go there it only reminds me that he's . ." dead. I can't say it. Even after 2 years it still sounds wrong. "gone. If I don't go there. If I don't see the stone where it's graved in it, I can still pretend that he's just away defending our country, but . . seeing it." I begin sobbing. "I can't bear it"
Harry takes me in his arms. "Shh. It's alright to be upset and sad, Katie. But it doesn't get you anywhere if you just deny it. You have to get over it and live with that fact.
"That's easy for you to say! He wasn't your father!"
"You know exactly, that this isn't easy for me to say. He was a father to me just as he was to you. Maybe not by blood, but he was a father to me."
I know that I hurt him and that I should apologize, but I am too stubborn and upset to apologize.
"You know what?" He says angrily. "If you don't want to go, I'll go alone."
And with that he leaves.
--Kate--
Talking with Logan made me see things clearer.
I like being alone at home. I like watching movies alone. I like riding the bus alone and I like eating alone. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. I also like eating alone in school. But when I see a mother with her child walking happily through the park, A happy couple, Or a friend laughing with her best friend I realize one thing. Even though I like being alone,
I don't like being lonely.
I wake up lying on the couch to the smell of coffee. I open my eyes and find Logan standing in front of me with a mug of coffee in his hands.
"Coffee?" He asks.
Me, being charming as always, slur. "What?"
Logan chuckles. "I made coffee. Do you want some?"
"Yeah, sure." I say taking the mug out of his hands.
"I took the liberty of just using yours, I hope you don't mind."
"No, not at all. What time is it?"
"It's 8 in the morning, so what's usual on a glorious saturday in Katherine Hawkins' Life?"
"Uhm, it pretty much goes like this. Sleeping, eating, watching TV, reading some stuff, eating. That's pretty much it."
"Alright. then. Let's do something friends do."
"Does it require me to go out?"
"Uhm, that's what normal people usually do."
"Well, then I'm not a big fan of doing what other people do."
"Oh, come on, Kate. You don't want to just sit here and do nothing."
"I actually don't mind at all. I quite enjoy it."
"It's going to be hard to get you out of here, won't it?"
"Not if you buy me food." I say flashing him a smile.
It's not as if my guards are instantly tumbling down. I just, don't want to be alone anymore. I need to try to open up to people. So I basically am forcing myself to open up. I don't really know where this will get me, but I guess I'll have to risk it.
After buying me a slice of pizza, yes for breakfast, and going to the cinemas afterwards, Logan and I were just walking home.
Sitting on my couch and not really paying attention to the TV Logan pokes my arm. "Kate?"
