life & death | jack wilder ✓

VI

Warning: swear words ahead.

VI

"you want to show them that you're really not scared.
you're playin' with your life this ain't no truth or dare."

↞↠

"SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Jack asked me as we walked by the side walks of New Orleans.

I nodded, taking a sip from my coffee.

"Did you enjoy it?"

I nodded again.

"I'm glad." He grinned.

The date wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. Jack brought me to a French restaurant several blocks away from the hotel and now we were taking a walking down to the venue where our next act would be.

There were several people walking on the streets. The restaurants were closing and the night breeze blew past us as silence lingered around us. Jack had his hands stuffed in his pockets and a smile was pasted on his lips as if he was thinking of a happy memory.

"What are you thinking about?" I blurted out, dismissing the silence.

"My family." He replied, his eyes still focusing on the road in front. "The time we all went for a picnic on the beach. My siblings and I running into the sea. I was the youngest among three siblings. Carter, Louisa and I," he explained. "It was the best memory I had of them." His eyes filled with joy. There was a pause. "Until it happened," his fist curled. He took a deep breath before continuing. "One day, I got in a stupid fight with my mother," he let out a humorless laugh. I raised an eyebrow at his action. "Oh God," his laugh stopped and his head dropped low. "Why did I fucking do that?" He spat and shook his head. "It was about a medical checkup. We all had to go to the hospital each year, except for dad because he was working. I told her I didn't want to go because I was afraid. I was a fucking pussy. So I talked back at her and it lead to a fight. I began pouring out insults to her until she had enough. There were tears in her eyes and she turned away to drive my siblings to the hospital." Hot tears trickled down his cheek. "And then, night fall came. I watched out the window for them to come back. I wanted to tell my mother I regreted what I said and am very sorry but they didn't return. They were supposed to be back three hours ago. And then couple of hours came, I fell asleep on the couch by the window when the door opened. My father came in with a bottle of beer in his hand and looking very drunk. He kept mumbling these words until eventually he fell down. He started to laugh and soon it was replaced by sobs. I decided to confront my dad and so I asked him. 'What happened.' He began to whimper and chose to ignore my question. Just a few seconds after, I heard the telephone rang. I ran to it and answered. It was the police a-and he told me that my mother and siblings passed." Now endless tears fell. "Just minutes after they left the house, they got into a car accident. I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye." My heart squeezed. "I didn't get to say I'm sorry. And now I live in a life of guilt. My father blamed their death on me and kicked me out of the house. A few weeks before I met all of you, my father died of cancer in his sleep."

He dropped down to his knees and dropped his head to the pavement. "I. Fucking. Hate. Myself." He punched the ground below him.

"Hey," I dropped beside him and held his redding fist. He tried fighting back. "Jack," I said as calmly as I could. Jack, it's not your fault, alright? You didn't see it coming. You don't know."