Who Are You \\ Laucy

Chapter 10

"Where a--?"

I let out a gentle cough, my throat dry. Trying to sit up,  a heavy weight on my arm prevented me from doing so, and I was pulled back down. The sensation in my hand was lost and the arm snaked under the body next to me was numb; tiny pins and needles lightly pricked at my skin. The blinding fluorescent lights above were abrasive against my newly opened eyes, further disorienting me.

My vision finally came into focus, and Lucy's restful figure was the only thing in my view, the messy dorm faded into a dull blur in the background. Her body slowly moved up and down with each controlled, subtle breath. She had gentle curves beneath the thin, baggy fabric that had ridden up, failing to cover her midsection. The blanket wrapped around us earlier was now hung off her hips, still covering her legs and feet.

I took my free hand and shook her awake, the smooth surface of her warm skin removing the chill from my hands. Touching her was like waking up to feel the heat of the sun on your face or putting on your favorite t-shirt straight out of the dryer. It was feeling the cold and salty water of the ocean against your skin on a sweltering summer day.

She wouldn't budge, so I hugged her closer to me, my face inches away from hers. I squeezed tightly, our bodies were intertwined, melted into one whole.

"Lucy." Her name was something sacred, like a prayer to anyone's lips who uttered the two syllables that flowed together so well into something meaningful, when apart they'd have no purpose or direction.

She stirred awake, as oblivious and confused as I probably looked at first. She rolled over to face me, still on top of my arm, which I had given up on her getting off of. Eyes still closed, her hands found their way to mine and she smiled, any tension from before completely erased.

In a panic, my fingers ripped away from hers to check the time. Her eyes shot open, and I ignored the irritated expression on her face.

It was 3:00 a.m.

"Shit, I have to go." I breathed, too rushed to even send her an apologetic look. "I told Emery I'd help her study for chem last night." I was off the bed, searching for my shoes and huffing when I couldn't get them on fast enough.

Her face was distorted in a pout. "Can't you study another time?"

"She's busy the rest of the weekend." My voice came out harsher than expected, the bite of my tone resulting in her subsequent somber expression. I shook my head, cursing myself for being so stupid. I'd always prided myself on being responsible and here I was, screwing everything up because I was with h--

"Don't go," she breathed shakily. Those two words encapsulated a world of emotions. It was desperation and anguish and hurt. "She's probably asleep already."

"Well, I'm still a pretty terrible person for bailing on her." A sigh escaped my lips. Emery was so nice and welcoming since the very first day when I felt so alone, and this is how I repaid her for the amicability she showed me and everyone around her?

"Emery will understand. She's forgiving."

"But that's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"I-I'm so reckless when I'm around you." I blurted.

"Oh so the blame's on me now," she said knowingly, resentment laced in her words. She averted her gaze in disbelief as a bitter smile took residence on her face.

"No, it's me. It's just... I can't say no to you."

The silence was only slightly less unnerving than the words and feelings that threatened to spill out of my mouth. "I'd throw away everything for you in a heartbeat," I continued as my hands made frantic circles around me. It was too late to stop. "You confuse me and, I get so nervous when you so much as look at me. It's like I don't want to be responsible when I'm around you. You make me want to stop giving a fuck for once about everything and just live."