Little Do You Know | BAEKHYUN

the letter

Hey, loser.

I just got home from our sudden trip to Gangneung. And yet here I am writing a fucking letter to you.

I know, this is so unlike me blah blah blah I don't even write down notes at school blah blah I know!!!

It's just, spending the entire day alone with you... I don't really know how to put it into words.

I've been keeping everything in me for so long. Somehow I need some form of release, and I don't think my sketchpad's up for the task as of the moment. Right now Hanna's probably asleep so I couldn't really vent to her, nor would I bother her even if she is awake.

So now I just want to write everything down. I just want to let everything out or else I'm going to explode.

Recently I've been thinking a lot. My future, my family, Hanna, Luhan, and you.

Especially you, dammit.

You're a fucking nightmare, you know that?

You just popped into my life like a fucking jack in the box, asking me for the most ridiculous request ever. Do you know how much you annoyed the shit out of me back then? I think your dictionary only consisted of stutters and Kim Taeyeon. But eventually I got used to your childish banter and your stupid pouts and your entire idiotic being. In fact, I've come to see those traits to be really... endearing.

Little by little you showed different sides of yourself that I never knew were there. You may prefer staying home alone with your video games, but you value your friends more than anyone, making them laugh and making sure they're okay when you're with them. Deep down, you actually have so much confidence in you but you were just afraid to show them. You never knew your true potential. You have so much talent in you, such intelligence, and the purest heart ever.

You don't know how proud I am of you, watching you grow as you start to realize your own capabilities.

Fate has a twisted sense of humor, doesn't it?

Suddenly you were so different in my eyes. Hanna used to be the only ray of sunshine in my gloomy, miserable life, but then you came and suddenly it wasn't so dark anymore.

I used to resent you for disturbing my once kinda peaceful life, but now I can't imagine what it's like to not have you in it.

You're what's keeping me going in life, yet you don't really know that.

Little do you know how effortless it is for you to put a smile on my face. Literally everything you do makes me react in ways I didn't think were possible. I could be crying but if you show up, my tears will probably retreat back into my eyes. I could be anything but happy, but I'll probably still laugh when you laugh or smile when you smile, because that's how much you affect me.

Little do you know that you were a big reason why I got over Chanyeol. I honestly thought I'll never get over him because I used to be crazy for him, but apparently I'm wrong. It's crazy how you were supposed to be the bridge between him and I, but it turns out that I never crossed the bridge.

Little do you know how much I loved your Valentine's present for me. I even pressed several petals in between sketchpads and heavy books so I can preserve them. But I sensed that you weren't proud of it, and that you thought you could have done better. But to me, the blue rose was more than enough. You are more than enough, Baekhyun.