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Hoseok

I smiled effortlessly at Yoongi who was bubbly after his morning date with my ex. "It was almost like we knew each other for a long time." He laughed. His laugh sounded more genuine and real rather when he was around me. Curse the cause of jealousy. I can't even hang around my boyfriend without already thinking that's he seeing another.

I sighed. "If you need me, I'll be in our room." I said, cutting him off mid-sentence. Quite frankly, I was tired. Just tired. I thought sleep was what I needed but when I woke up, it wws only 1 pm and things were still the same. No new reality, no new boyfriend. No new anything. Just me.

I really don't know what's going on with me. I'm going through a phase where my body just feels tired and upset all the time. Motivation doesn't exist in my vocabulary anymore for some reason. I just wanted to sleep and do nothing because I'm afraid if I did something productive, I would be screamed or yelled at.

I waved to Yoongi as I walked in the shared room and plopped down onto the bed. My eyes staring straight ahead as random thoughts flooded my mind, drowning myself in a reality I hated. It may seem as if I'm over reacting to everything but in all honesty, I actually am.

I've always been this sensitive book worm who loved sitting at the quiet end of the library, listening to underground r&b, complaining about how he got a B- in math or whatever. So whenever someone talked to me or said something that sounded wrong, I always over thought it and it makes me feel upset.

I really don't know why but I was always good at holding grudges. Or whenever someone hurt me, I just always remember it. So Yoongi having breakfast with Jimin was probably just my mind making it worse than what it might actually be.

I sighed and pulled the blanket up, tucking my arms on top of it. Many ways I could improve myself but so many flaws in it too. I'm always so picky. "Hoseok."

I don't know what else to write.