LOVING THE RAPIST CHILD

chapter 31

5  months later

Everyday routine always was the same.

Today was different though,  Jake was attending an interview to go to secondary school.

She should be happy and grateful, but Jake has being bitter and throwing different tantrums for a while and   she cant seem to put him in place.

Today he created a scene before going for his oral interview simply because he wanted to wear the sneakers Ed brought for him from pep store 6 months ago, and because Bright was selfish and didn't want to see her son cherish the memories she didn't allow him to wear it.

Her heart squeezed at the thought of his name, she could remember 4 months ago when he thrust the ring in her palms and walked out from his house,leaving her alone. She has never felt dejected like that in a while. Oh how she missed him.

She tried calling him for two weeks just to check on him but he didn't pick his calls, she knew he did that on purpose and she absolutely understand why she wouldn't   want to talk her.   

  " here,  take it, it was yours anyways, when you are ready and when you are sure of yourself and you begin to see what i see, you know where to find me"

She could remember that word and it kept ringing in her head among   all other things that was spoken that night.

Edward didn't understand that she had to do what she had to do. Like you always do. A voice in her head told her.
She was battling with it, so bad.  She heard a soft sob,  she looked around to see who was crying, seeing no one she saw a woman who was looking at her with a very concerned look.  she touched Her face before she discovered that she was the one crying silently,  she didn't even know she was crying. 

She quickly cleaned her face in other to avoid further glances. She played with the chain  Ed gave her during their 1st few times they started dating. She loved the chain so much because of the pendant with had a matching ear ring.

Oh i miss Edward, I miss him so much that i want to break down and cry.

I want to hold him and tell him I love him but I can't. 

Never, not yet....

******************★*********************
"You shouldn't be staring like that dear, or else you are going to grow wrinkles"

Mrs Bankole interrupted Bright. Since she came back from Jakes common entrance exam she has being moody even Jake noticed it and didn't throw a  tantrum. 
He just went outside to play with his bike.

That was what made her heart heavy, Jake's performance in his exam was good he came 7th overall out of almost 500 candidate and although he wasn't among the 1st three,  Bright knew that she had notting to do with it.  It was Ed's doing, he took extra time with Jakes condition, taught him self extreme and created time for him during his holiday to catch up.

She didn't want to see the G- shock wrist watch he gave Jake when he won a spelling bee for his class, or his har cut that Jake likes to emulate, not to even talk of the bike he was riding that Jake adored.

She also remembered the ring that was thrusted  into her hands  on that faithful day, the  dejected and heartbroken look he saw in his eyes before the left the house. She was causing him too much pain and that was another reason that justified her rejection to his proposal. The ring has being with her since, safely kept in a drawer, and because she is a coward that she found  it difficult to return it back or  even wear it.

After Jake rambled on how much he hasn't seen his Uncle Ed, he went outside to ride his bike but Bright wasn't going to sit and mope. She followed him outside to make sure he is safe and most of all dwell on the memories.

"Good evening ma" she quickly responded before she carried her face away. She hates being a subject of pity and she wasn't going to allow the only woman who is like a mother to her pity her condition.

"Are you okay my dear? You look pale"  Mrs Bankole touched her cheek  to make sure she was looking at her directly.  She saw it all. But if she did she didn't say anything.

"Come inside, Jake can take care of himself as far as the gate is locked"

She wasn't ready to argue with her Neighbor since she know how persistent she can be,  so she just followed her, dogmatically inside the house.

The woman left her inside the sitting and came back with a saucer  containing chin chin and groundnut and a glass jug filled with chilled gingered Zobo.

"What eating you up dear, I  have being watching you for a long time,  you have being so withdrawn and  I think Jake has noticed it too and has also withdrawn "

"I am fine Mummy (she always call her that after all she was like a mother to her)"

"No you aren't, i know when someone is fine and when someone is sad, so tell me dear what's wrong"

She looked at her and saw that she is someone she can trust and maybe telling someone will help lighten the burden. So she spilled everything out, from her childhood, to her years as whore,  to her love life , how she loves Ed so much and she didn't deserve him,  how she turned down his proposal when all she wanted to say was yes and kiss him badly. She told her about Rosko and and his claiming of paternity.

She cried all her heart out for all what she has felt and gone through for the oast six months. Ed didn't even try to call her or ask for her well-being. He just shut her off. she tried sending messages to him but he just  replied few of them and those were the ones concerning Jake.
She knew she deserved that treatment and was ready to sallow her pills but now she was just too plain tired of it all.

Mrs Bankole wrapped her and stroked her back till she calmed down.

"My dear,  I  have heard all what you said,  but what is holding you back from being with him?"

"I dont know again mummy,  I just know I  dont deserve him. He is too good for me and almost perfect" she was crying all over again now.

"Come here" she wrapped her again into her warm motherly hug.

"Go and find peace with yourself Bright,  find what is holding you back ,  make peace with, then and run as fast as you can to the man you love. We all dont deserve what we get. But we all deserve love . Who are we humans that God can sacrifice his only son for a rebellious world and still  Love us,  above all giving us his grace for all things"

"Come to terms with yourself and then you can start all over with the man you love. Children of now a days think they can remove Challenge from the romance