Love You Enough

Goodbye Angel

Stevie is sat in the rocking chair in the nursery with a baby blanket Lindsey had purchased partially laying over her body. She pulled it up to her face, inhaling its scent. It had yet to be washed. She had hoped it smelled like him as he had been carrying it around, but all she could decipher was its newness. The sterile nothingness of a department store. The tears fell hard; they had barely stopped the entire time they had been apart. She would put on a brave face when she was out, especially if she knew Lindsey would be in attendance. She was fine as far as he knew. The phone rang and she looked at the clock.

"6:30" she says to herself, getting up to grab the phone in her bedroom. She wasn't so swift now but she raced to that phone. She needed a friend right now. She sat down on the bed, still clinging to the little blanket, and sniffed. Breathe, Stevie. She's sick of you crying on the phone to her every night. "Hello? This is Stevie" she says.

"Hey angel, it's me" She didn't expect his voice. She wants to apologize, she wants to beg him to come back, she wants to tell him that everything was a mistake and she loved him so much it hurt but she couldn't speak. She took the phone away from her ear, sobbing and placed it back down. She laid on top of the covers and cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile....

Lindsey waits for a response at the other end of the line but it never comes. He hears a click, then the dial tone. She hung up. "Goodbye Angel" he says, the tears finally falling down his cheeks. He wipes his eyes roughly, feeling both defeated and angry. "Fuck!" He curses, punching the wall, splitting the skin of his knuckles. "Goddammit!" He shouts. The pain in his hand is nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He paces the room again, staring at the floor.

Why do I have to love you so much, Stephanie? Why do we continually do this to each other? I'm sure I've missed doctors appointments, big milestones. Have I missed the first kick? Has she been picking out names without me? Is she planning a life without me?

He gets in his car, unable to think clearly. She could easily deny him access. She could easily make him leave. She could easily call the cops, for Christ sake. He didn't care, he needed to see her. Half way through the drive, he chickens out. He stops at a diner for a breather and a bite. While he sits there, he listens to the music playing overhead.

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall
So if I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of a-all

You always hurt the one you love
The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
Crush it, till the petals fall

You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall, so
If I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all