Misplaced (Completed)

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty One

It was like I’d been shot.

Everything I thought I knew about me, about Callum, about our relationship, just went up in smoke. “What?” My voice was soft. I no longer had the energy it took to shout and scream, he had me destroyed by the revelation. He’d won this time.

“It’s just - me and my cousin were really close, and you’ve got a part of her. You’ve got her heart. Like, if you'd never got that, we’d never have met, never have got together. It’s difficult for me to decide if it’s you, or just because you have a piece of her.”

“So, what? You don’t know?”

“Yeah.”

“Right.” My voice was nothing but a small squeak. I wasn’t able to produce anything other, all my emotions were clogging up my throat, by brain. They were consuming me, and there were so many of them. I didn’t know which one to focus on: the hurt, anguish, confusion, anger, love. There was so much going on. But one thing stuck out to me the most.

He only loved me because I had his cousin's heart. But I don’t have his cousin’s heart. I have someone else's, and there was no confusion about that anymore. Or so I thought. There was clearly still some confusion about it on Callum’s part.

“How did everything get so messed up?” I wondered aloud.

He sighed. “It’s not messed up.”

“Yes it is, Callum, you know it is.” I snapped, everything was piling on top of me, making me feel claustrophobic in Callum’s spacey room.

“It’s just complicated.”

“I’ll say.”

“I’m not saying that I don’t love you-”

“No,” I interrupted, “you don’t know if you love me, or if you love a piece of me. I think that’s worse than you not loving me.” Which, in my eyes, was true. He says that he might just love my heart. The heart I have is not mine, and that’s why he loves it; because it belonged to his cousin. Or so he thinks.

“I think we both need some space now.”

I nodded, getting up and walking out of the house, quietly shutting the door behind me. The way I slowly clicked shut, making minimal noise, it mimicked how I felt. It certainly felt like yesterday, but worse. We’re going round in circles again, only this time, I didn’t know whether it was worth continuing with.

As much as it pained me to think about, maybe we needed to break up. Perhaps that was what Callum meant when he told me that we needed space. It was like a gentle way of breaking up with me. And I had agreed with it.

Though, the more I thought about it, the better the idea seemed. I mean, he loved my heart, but it came from a completely different girl than who he thinks. It seems to me like there is no point, with me having Sally’s heart.

When I first left my house to tell Callum the news, I was ecstatic, convinced that it would have fixed our problem. Now, as I leave his house, I am nervous to tell him the complete truth. I know I have to tell him, it would be morally wrong not to, but his love for my heart was pretty much the only thing keeping us together, or rather, keeping Callum interested in me. Once he finds out, not only will he be devastated to know he’s been focusing on the wrong person, but he’ll also break up with me for sure. I see no other way around it though, I have to tell him. And soon, the sooner the better, but there’s a small, selfish part of me that doesn’t want to tell him. I don’t want things to be over completely.

I had seen Callum change so much. I’d seen him being broody, grumpy, and just plain mean. Then I’d seen the other side to him, joking, laughing, making me feel special, and making me feel loved.